Torment

QUEEN OF PEACE

Burns opened her eyes slowly. Her visions had begun to gradually focus on the white painted ceilings of her bedroom. For some reasons, she could not explain, it was probably the best sleep she'd ever had since she stayed in Santa Lucia. It was unusually undisturbed. Was it because of her tears? After her conversation with her mother and then with her father, Burns was too exhausted to think anything more. Or was it because of the fact that she had finally made her choice to leave? And that she would be back in Sicily very soon?

Her only reason why she wanted to stay was all because of Rosalie and nothing more. However, knowing that she just ruined her mother's once peaceful life suddenly had driven her to change her mind. Although she was well aware that she should never blame herself from what happened, Burns could not help it.

She would probably miss this house especially the people working in the manor. The beauty of Santa Lucia's landscape, the cliff and the beach, the locals, the food – everything. That included Rosalie. She was not entirely sure why she was so angry. What Rosalie and Homer did were wrong, but was she in the right position to be so wrathful about their actions? She could not understand herself anymore. Burns was of course feeling terrible. After all, she was still her mother. And for so many years she longed to see her and be with her. Now that she finally had this chance, was it really worth it to take it back?

It was more painful than she could have ever imagined. Burns had never felt this pain in her life. Simply being rational no longer comforted her weary mind. It no longer made sense for everything already looked so irrational, so broken, and so dissevered to fix. Her father too would surely go back, now that she was also going back. What would happen to Rosalie when she and her father left Santa Lucia? Would she be alright? But she was not giving her mother a choice anyway. Rosalie had to accept it whether she liked it or not. Also, Homer left Santa Lucia for her without a choice. For twenty-four years, she and her father lived in harmony. Rosalie should be fine.

With a heavy sigh, she stood up and quickly took a shower. Burns then went downstairs and ask Carlos to drop her off to the inn. She did not even have her breakfast. As fast as she could, Burns wanted to see Roche and inform him about her decision. So far, he was the only person she was comfortable to share her plans. She knew even Harriett wouldn't be able to help her that much. Burns was also certain that Roche might have been confused the other night knowing that she also avoided him the entire day yesterday. He advised her to do what she thought was rational. And the most rational thing to do at the moment was to leave the country. Leave everything that she had discovered in the country to be able to live again normally in Sicily.

"Miss Burns nandito na po tayo." Carlos said. She thanked him and went directly inside the inn's lobby.

Fortunately, the restaurant opened early so she had the perfect place to wait. No longer than ten minutes she could already see Roche walking towards her. For the first time, she thought she felt something different. Seeing him felt so comforting and relieving. And maybe she actually missed Roche. For years, he had always been by her side. In times like this, she was so glad that he was, after all, willing to do whatever for her. "Hey Burns." He gave her the rarest smile but she could sense sadness within him at the same time. "Hi." As far as she could remember, he planned to leave tomorrow morning. 

"You're, you're very early." He forced a hesitant laugh because again, another first. Roche was the one who always approached, not Burns especially not this early. If ever he wanted to go out with her, Roche would often ask Homer before Burns. But most of the time she had also turned him down. Thankfully though, Roche was persistent and seriously serious about everything. If he said and promised one thing, she knew he actually meant it. "Do you want anything for breakfast? I'll order-"