I walked into the practice room and touched the keyboard. I finally get to play. After two weeks of not being able to practice, I finally get to practice. I woke up early because I wanted to practice. I started warming up when I heard someone enter the room.
"Hey noona," Wonpil greeted me.
"Hi Wonpil," I smile, "You practicing?"
"I came here to see where you were. I noticed your bedroom door opened," he explains.
"What time do we typically practice at?" I ask.
He responds, "We start at 8;30." I looked at the time it was 6:30.
"Dang, I do have time for a run. Well, I'll be back by 7:30. If not, come looking for me. I'm probably lost," I laugh at myself. I wave bye and run off to the entrance of the building. I leave the building and start to run. I head in the direction of less busy intersections and just ran singing to whatever song that I was listening too. Right now I was listening to "Paper Hearts" by Tori Kelly. I love her songs. I stopped running when I remembered an area that I wish that I was not. My heart stopped as I passed an alley way that I remember all too well. I stop and walk into the alley. I put my hand against the brick wall. All of a sudden I break down. I remember everything like it was yesterday.
I walked down the street with my older cousin (Random Fact: He is half-Filipino, half-Korean), Ok Daejung. I was 12 at the time. It was my first time in Korea, and Daejung was showing me around. I was looking around when he pulled me into this alley saying that it was a short cut. That's when...when he raped me. I got pregnant with Ashley afterward. He was 19, and I was 12.
I look up and hear a voice behind me, "Why is a beautiful woman like you crying?" I turn around and see him...He got out of jail, shit I forgot.
"L-leave me alone, Daejung," I say standing up.
He smirked, "How is my daughter?"
"She is amazing. She knows what you did to me, and she will never want to see you. You are a monster," I state with tears pouring out of my eyes.
He pinned me against the wall and growled, "You are the monster, bitch. You will not let me see my daughter."
"Let me go, and I let her have the choice of seeing you. She said no," I respond. I look down. I cannot let him hurt me again.
He starts kissing my neck. I bite my lip and kick him in his nuts. Then I run as fast as I can back to the JYP buildings. I almost fall a few times, but I make it before I do. God, WHY DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I AM GETTING CHASED? LIKE COME ON!!! I MIGHT AS WELL GET RAPED IN THE STREET, AND PERVERTED GUYS WOULD JOIN IN! THAT IS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. People are horrible today. I am little just 10 feet to my safety when I trip and fall. I try to stand up as fast as possible, but as soon as I manage to get up. He grabs my arm. "Let me go," I snap at him
"Sweet cheeks, you aren't going anywhere now," He smirks. His grip is too strong for me, and I am losing circulation in my arm now. SHIT SHIT SHIT. SOMEONE HELP ME. I am too scared that I can't even make a noise. Out of nowhere, I see someone punch Daejung. He let's go of my grip, and I fall to my knees and cry. Seriously? I am not some weak damsel in distress. I can save myself....except when he is cutting off my circulation.
I see a hand and look up. "You okay?" Jae asks me as I take his hand and he helps me stand up. I nod.
"Who punched him?" I ask.
Jae smiles, "Dowoon gave him a severe black eye." I smile and turn around to see Dowoon and hug him.
"Thank you so much," I say squeezing Dowoon.
Dowoon says, "Anything for noona."
I let go of Dowoon while saying, "I owe you big time."
He chuckles, "No, you don't."
The chicken who was standing next to me asks, "Are you okay? Are you injured? Do you want us to report this attack to the police?"
I responded, "I'm alright. I have not broken anything, but I just need to clean up my bloody knee. I do not think this should be reported to the police, but I know who to call about this," His parole officer, "How did you know I was in trouble anyway?"
"It was 7:40. You told me to go looking at 7:30, so I got the maknae and hyungs up," Wonpil acknowledges my question. I nod and go inside towards the elevators. While I waited to press the button for the elevator because the boys were taking forever, I almost broke down crying. Thank God that they came before I started to cry. I moved to the furthest corner away from the buttons because I did not want to be bothered all of a sudden.
As the elevator went up the floors, my mind filled up with unanswerable questions. When I debut, will I have a lot of sexual predators after me? Will my life, although it already is, be as dramatic as an unrealistic fan fiction? Will Daejung come back? What if he finds Ashley? What if Ashley changes her mind and asks me to meet her father? What if he hurts Ashley, my precious baby girl? I can't lose her in any way. I almost lost her once, and that was bad enough.
As we entered the dorm, Sungjin reminded me, "Be ready for practice at 8:30." I nodded and went to my room, shutting the door behind me. I turned on my music and "Bulletproof Heart" by My Chemical Romance was the first song to play. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the water to a nice steamy, steam room hot, hot. I stripped my clothes and stepped into my shower. The water felt amazing. Although my skin was turning red, I needed this. It usually keeps my mind off my awful thoughts, but this time it was not helping at all. I eventually started crying. I am the definition of a cry baby. It is my fault that I am away from my daughter and family. It was my decision to audition and to go to school in Korea. It was my fault that I came here. Oh shit, I better get out before I am late. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my towel around me. I put on my lotion and blow dry my hair. When it is dry, I throw it into a messy bun. I changed into a pair of black lounge shorts and replaced the band-aid on my knee. I then threw on a Green Day shirt and unplugged my phone and made sure I had my necklace on or I would not be able to get into the dorm. I took out my contacts because they were irritating me from crying and put on my glasses. I slip into a random pair of sandals and make my way to the practice room.
As I entered, I saw Jae acting like a chicken, "Seriously?"
Jae nodded, "Yes, seriously. Why aren't you acting like a duck? You look like one."
"I am not acting like a duck. It is so stupid and childish. Jae, you are a year older than me. Why don't you stop acting like a two-year-old and act your own age," I told him because I cannot deal with jokes with what has happened today. I'm being dramatic. Aren't I? Who cares, my life is basically an unrealistic fan fiction.
Sungjin evocated, "Why don't you be rude to him, Celena?"
I apologized and turned on my keyboard. What is wrong with me? Whatever, I need to focus on practice. We started with "Blood." After six songs, we decided to take a break where we all sat in a circle in the middle of the room.
"Noona?" Wonpil asks looking at me.
"I told you not to call me that, "I complain.
Wonpil softly smiles which makes me know that he is not going to listen, "When are you thinking of debuting?"
"When is the next comeback?" I ask.
Sungjin answers, "August 6th."
"Well, assuming you guys have already made a music video and had a photo shoot. For your first performance, I'll be a surprise," I think aloud, "During the first interview, I can explain everything."
"Or," Jae begins, "you can be on our next ASC show which is July 25th. People would be more shocked and surprise that you are on the show then debuting in a music video or at a concert or something."
"Alright, let's do that then," I argee. This should be a lot of fun.
A/N
GUESS WHO IS BACK!!!!! THE ONE AND ONLY, K!!! SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING BUT IT IS JUST HARD WITH MY SECHDULE.
LOVE YA,
K
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