This boy, I believe, has captivated me. His words. His eyes. His mouth. I've never met him, per say, but I know him. There's a thing he does, with dots. Like this..... So many and I do not know why. His face is soft and hard at the same time, like temperpedic pillows and erasers.
"Just friends for now", my father says, " until she's stable..".
I want to scream I am stable but I know I'm not on the inside. I shake, and cry, and more than that. When the hospital eats you alive and there's nothing else to do, you'll have to meet me at the gates before the pain ends, as I am the gate keeper for joy. Thats why the pain never ends. I'm at the end of it. For all eternity.
But him
He lets me feel joy and not pain, for once.
For once.
