MOM SAYS I NEED TO HANG OUT WITH GIRLS MORE

چھ

now i'm just out of it. this is the moment i've been dreading of. she asks, 'um so beta would you like to marry my son?'

i literally don't know what to say and i'm shaking by now. it feels like all oxygen has run out. i'm trembling and Huda puts her arm round me. she gives me a glass of water. she's comforting me and telling me that it's all going to be okay, she's helping me do breathing exercises. when i'm feeling better, i look up to her and smile and then she smiles back and that just felt good, to actually feel like you matter, to actually feel understood.

'im okay' i declare and aunty starts apologising for being way too fast. i assure her that it's not her, it's just me. i remind her that i fuck things up. it's just how i am programmed and i've just made amends with that.

'and oh i realised i didn't really answer your question and i've done a lot of thinking (in these past five minutes, i know) and i swear you all are the nicest people on earth but i think i need more time and maybe should get to know you and especially Shaheer better before we make anything permanent, yeah?'

aunty smiles with her warm green eyes. mama looks satisfied too. i thank everyone for understanding and for genuinely not getting mad at me. i try to bring back the groove by saying 'ok but let's just forget this and just make lame jokes and forget there's a thing called life because i'm hella sure i want that, i don't know about you'

and then we're back to the start, and it just feels alright. i sit there and laugh and smile while everyone's talking. the melodies of their laughter fills the air. and then Shaheer just ceases the music to an end by this idea he had,

'so, Noor, you said we should get to know each other well, right? how about a date? if tomorrow's okay with you. it's saturday. i'll pick you up at 7 and we'll go to the mall, yeah?'

everyone's looking at me, they're waiting for an answer and i'm getting paranoid now.

and so this little voice inside of me lets out a 'yeah sure'

A.N: it's such a long time since i last wrote and i fear it's not that good and not funny but i think about this story a lot and i see lots of Noors everywhere and yeah i missed this so if you think it's not totally shit, feel free to give your feedback by voting or commenting, whatever. ily all, and thanks for making this an amazing journey. please pray the rest of the book gets better.