Wake up call [Trixya]

Chapter 8

I looked at him, that's all I could do. I looked at his beady eyes piercing right through me. I felt bad for not telling him. But I couldn't. Not now, maybe not ever. "Well?" He asked impatiently. I couldn't get a single word out, there was a big lump stuck in my throat. My eyes were on the verge of tears. "I can't." Is all I could get out. "You can't? Can't what? Tell your best friend what is going on?" He asked and finally let go of my hand. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just can't. Please believe me." I replied softly, looking down. He stood up and I followed where he was going. He walked outside and lit a cigarette. I kept looking at him and he sometimes looked inside. I saw him sit down and noticed his shoulders shaking. Is he crying? I quickly got off the couch and hurried outside. He wasn't looking at me. "..Brian?" I softly said. No reply. I awkwardly shuffled around and decided to sit down next to him. As I wanted to open my mouth and speak he looked at me. His eyes bloodshot and puffy. "Please go away." He said. I was shocked. My eyes widened and my throat felt like I was getting choked. "Go!" He almost yelled. I slowly got up and looked at him. "I don't want to go.." I softly spoke. He put out his cigarette and stood up to face me. "Then tell me what's going on and let me help you with whatever. I don't want you to feel like you have to keep things from me." He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. I felt like a wreck. I decided to make up something, it might not be the right thing but I don't want to loose Brian. I softly started to speak. "I was just.. angry at you that you had to leave." I said as I looked down. I felt somewhat better knowing this wasn't 100% a lie. It was silent for a minute but the Brian pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry honey." He said as he stroked my back with his hand. I slowly wrapped my arms around him as well. I grabbed ahold of his shirt and squeeze it tightly.

After a long time of hugging we both walked back inside. He walked into the kitchen to make us both some coffee. "You could've just told me that silly." He said to me. "I just had a hard time with it, still do." I replied softly. I turned on the TV, I needed some sound instead of this silence. Brian walked back with two mugs and handed me one. After I grabbed it he sat down next to me and curled up against me. We watched TV for a while until I stood up. "I need to make a quick call." I said as I walked towards the backdoor. Brian just nodded. I walked outside and closed the door. I pulled out my phone and dialed Sharon's number. It didn't take long for her to pick up:

S: Hey baby, are you okay?
T: No, no I'm not. Brian read your message and almost threatened me to tell him what was going on.
S: He threatened you? Should I come? What's his address?
T: Sharon calm, not like that.
S: Hm. Did you tell him?
T: Not that. I told him I had a hard time with him leaving and he seemed to buy it.
S: Aha. And now you're expecting me to play along in case he comes snooping for the real answer?
T: Well, yeah?

The seriousness in her voice threw me off. Was she not wanting to help me?

S: Ofcourse baby, I will. Are you staying there?
T: Yeah, I'm sleeping here.
S: I'll come by tonight, have fun while it lasts doll!

Before I can answer she hung up. I groan softly but then smile and walk back inside. "Who was that?" Brian asks me with a smile. "Sharon. She's coming over tonight. Couldn't tell her no before she hung up." I replied and scratched the back of my head as I walk back to the couch and sat down next to him. "Ooh! Company! Is she bringing Lasky along?" He asked to which I just shrugged. I laid my head against his chest as we zapped through channels. All of a sudden I felt his fingertips trail circles on my arm which made me jump. I heard him giggle. We watched an old episode of season 3 from Drag Race. We both absolutely adore Raja and even though we know that she wins we still cheer and shout everytime she comes on. Everytime Delta comes on I make a gagging sound and it makes Brian laugh. "Ugh, I can't stand her." I say. "Which queen can you stand? You also have an unexplainable hatred against Tempest." He says chuckling. "Yeah because Tempest says I'm copying her drag! Why would I want to look like that 49 year old hag!?" I say almost offended and sit up straight. Brian's hands are flailing as hee's laughing. I scream/laugh at him and grab his hands. "Oh I fucking love you!" Brian screams and my stomach does a flip. I know he doesn't mean it that way but it still makes me the happiest of happy. He wipes away a tear and looks at me. I look at him with twinkling eyes and finally let go of his hands.

We spent the entire day watching old episodes of drag race until I hear the doorbell ringing. I climb off of Brian and walk towards the door. I open it and see Sharon and Alaska standing there. I scream with excitement and hug Sharon tightly. "You're still in your pajamasssss?" Alaska asks me as I let go of Sharon. I blush slightly. "I wore my pajamas as I came here." I say and Sharon snickers. I let them inside and close the door, walking with them to the living room where Brian is looking at with the most intense blush on his cheeks. I sat down next to him "I'm not really properly dressed.." He exclaims. "So? PJ parties are always fun, got some for us?" Sharon boldly asked. "Sure!" Brian replied and the two of them walked upstairs with him. They came down a while later in sweats and again, shirts with my merch. "Why do you have so much merch from me? It's like you're obsessed with me." I said jokingly. "I honestly have no idea where all that came from. But they're really comfy so why not." He replied and sat down next to me again. "Duh, I make good shit." I said and he tickled me said to which I screamed. We both sat up straight again and looked at Alaska and Sharon who were all cuddled up on the other couch. "Awww! I can't with you two. The cutest!" I said to them and Alaska just grinned. "You two would be pretty cute together too." Sharon calmly said to us and my eyes widened. I nervously laughed. "Really?" Brian asks. "Yeah! Two Brians, both absolute freaks from what I've heard." Sharon giggles as she lays her hand in between Alaska's thighs. I know what she's doing, she's trying to make me feel bad for not being honest and wants to pester me. Brian turns to look at me. "Well," He turns to Sharon again. "True. But he wouldn't be interested in that!" he says and Sharon laughs, a bit harder than expected. Brian raises an eyebrow and looks at me. Blushing I just shrug. Alaska all of a sudden stands up and runs to the hallway where she left a bag. She comes running back with a bottle of wine. "Wineeee! I have 4 more bottles so who's up?" She says and we all raise our hand.

It doesn't take long for the wine kicks in and I notice Brian's also pretty far down the road. Sharon isn't but Alaska is long gone. We're singing along to olden goldies, dancing and just having a great time. After a while Brian says he wants to smoke a cigarette and asks me to come along to which I agree. We step oustide and Brian has a pretty hard time with lighting his cigarette so I help him. I hold it in his mouth for him and he keeps the flame steady. Once it finally worked we both laugh and he plants a kiss on my cheek. I giggle from it and lean against him. He says something but I can't hear it so I decide to ignore him. I hear him again so I lift my head and look up at him. I just look at his mouth move and he eventually stops talking and looks at me. He wants to take another drag from his cigarette but I pull it out of his hand and throw it away. I look at it for a bit but then look back up at him. Before I know it, my hands grab ahold of his face and my lips are pressed against his. He hesitates for a bit but then lays his hands on my hips and opens his mouth a bit. My tongue slips into his mouth and explores around. I hear him groan softly and my hand moves up and trails through his hair. He squeezes my hips and I moan softly into the kiss. After a while I pull back and look at him in the eyes. I want to walk away but he pulls me back and wraps his arms around me. I turn my head to watch inside and see Sharon and Alaska both looking at me and sticking their thumbs up. Is Sharon holding a phone?  I don't care. I close my eyes and squeeze him gently. Maybe he'll find out now.