Identity - Rewritten

Chapter Twelve

May 2008

Junior can't remember the last time he used a Saturday afternoon so well.

He and Eloise made up a picnic, took the trek to central park, and spent another twenty minutes walking around, trying to find the perfect spot to eat. Eventually, they settled on a small, secluded area next to a stream and surrounded by trees that was barely big enough to lay their picnic blanket down on. The world was beginning to bloom around them, and though it wasn't quite warm enough yet to go swimming, they'd both worn their swimsuits under their clothes just in case.

"That was great," Eloise sighs, as she pushes the almost entirely empty picnic basket toward the edge of the clearing in order to make more room on the blanket.

She's referring to the food they just had– Eva had just gone shopping the day before, so the bread for the sandwiches was the freshest they'd eaten in weeks. They also had string cheese, a staple in their house, and fresh fruit, which was much more of a rarity, not to mention the ham and cheese Eva put on their sandwiches. They're both sick of the usual stale-bread-PB&J they usually get, though neither ever complains.

Junior grins. "Of course it was. How else could we have celebrated your fifteenth birthday?"

Eloise smiles, but it's small and tired. She lays down on the blanket and Junior follows suit, their heads together in the middle as they stare up at the sky.

"I wish Eva could have come," she says, quietly, watching the noontime sun get covered by a cloud.

Junior nods, and Eloise hears the swish of his hair on the blanket. "Me too. But you know she had to go into work today."

Eloise doesn't reply. Eva's administration job rarely calls her in for overtime, and she specifically kept today clear, but Eloise has noticed that Eva hasn't been bringing home as much money as usual and with the new groceries from yesterday, it must have all been a stretch. Eloise has the distinct feeling that Eva didn't have a choice between spending the day with them and buying the food they just ate.

As she often does, Eloise wishes that she were as oblivious as Junior, which is in itself not very much more, but she prays that he'll stay that way. Even for him to not know how far they're financially stretched or the nature of Eva's second job, which Eloise has begun to suspect, is a blessing.

The slight breeze whistles through the trees above them, and through the canopy Eloise spots a few puffy clouds. They seem so close, like she could reach up and touch them, but of course they're really much farther.

Next to her, Junior breathes quietly, and she can feel the ends of his too-long hair brush her face. She's known him for over a year now, and Eloise can't banish the thoughts she gets when she's around him. Junior may be the most beautiful person she knows; physically attractive, yes, but also kind enough to ask a kid rooting through his refrigerator to stay while she ate his food.

Eloise doesn't know if this is why butterflies flit in her stomach when she looks at Junior– if it has to do with him essentially saving her life. She supposes she's idolized him since that day, still does. Maybe, though, it's just his kindness: his pure, unadulterated kindness and the fact that he never expects anything in return.

Either way, Eloise knows better than to take the opportunity she has now, in their silence, to dare speak a word of it. The balance of her life is too fragile, and she can't put Junior in the position of having to spend the next three years awkwardly attempting not to offend her constantly because he doesn't return her feelings. Most of all, she doesn't want him feeling sorry for her. She's never once gotten that impression from Junior and if she does now, it may just kill her.