Nightshade ~ namjin

Fear

I entered the club in full confidence. I had my makeup done, with dark purple eyeshadow and plump,slightly glossy lips. I wanna wearing tight,black skinny jeans that hugged me just right. And a white tank top matched with a purple bomber jacket. My boots were black, my panties were black. Overall I felt on top of the world.

I was no longer the insecure boy that I was from my school years. Now I had a fit, and attractive body, and an angelic voice to go with it. I still had the same goal though, love.

I even made a few friends, but I make sure I don't rely on them to much. I need to be independent, I owe it to myself to keep strong. They can't know my secret either, they would be scared.

I walked through the club to the bar, noticing many eyes were on me. I grinned for what would come later tonight. I ordered some wine, I don't feel like getting drunk. I need a clear mind. So wine would give me just the buzz I want, nothing more nothing less.

Soon a man sits next to me. I look to see he's around the same age as me, in the twenties. He has black hair with red subtle highlights, and brown eyes. He was a bit smaller than me, nice to look at too. I sent him a smirk.

"What's your name?" He asked me quite, looking at my outfit.

"I'm Seokjin."

We started talking a little bit about how it was here and which places in town that we like to go to. I could tell what he wanted, he wanted sex. I could see it in his eyes and posture. He didn't want me, or to continue talking with me.

I secretly got angry, but I couldn't show it. He's just like the rest of them. I know I shouldn't get mad, this is just a club and he's just a guy. But I am mad, I am furious. I must hide it for now, he will find out later.

After he drank another beer I agreed to let him pay for us to have a hotel room. He kissed me passionately in the elevator but there was no love in it, only lust.

I played along, I kissed him back. I pulled his hair. When we got to the hotel room he pushed me onto the bed. I threw off my jacket to the floor.He rubbed my hips and the slid his hands up to my shirt to take off my shirt. I groaned, he probably though in pleasure but it was something extremely different.

He came back up for a kiss and rolled his hips into mine. Suddenly he stops and pulls away to look at me with a smirk.

"Is there something in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" He says that infamous line that was supposed to be funny.

I laugh, finding this perfect timing. "Well it's actually my knife."

He stares at me in shock as I quickly flipped us over. Now as I sat on top of him, restraining his hands above his head with one hand. I pull my knife out with the other.

He looks so nervous, so scared. Like prey almost, and oh how I loved being the predator.

"Now now, did you really think you could just use me for pleasure and then leave me? Did you think I was just going to be a one night stand? Hmmm well, that's not how it works with me."

I trace the knife gently on his stomach up to his neck. He lets a few tears drop down his face.

"I promise I won't do anything anymore, I'm so so sorry! Please let me go."

I look at him in the eyes, examining him. He whimpers, and he's shaking under me. I feel anger still, and a little bit of sympathy but my anger over powers it.

I cut a small gash in his stomach. Then one on his side. Neither will kill him if he is found soon enough.

"Why don't you love me!" I scream

"YOU NEED TO LOVE ME!"

I threw the knife back into my pocket angrily. It actually cut through my pants and stabbed my leg, but I didn't care. I had so much adrenaline.

       My heart was beating out of my chest. I felt rushed, I'm not sure in what way. I felt anger,pain,confusion. I felt everything, like I always do. Every time I hold my knife, I feel everything and that secretly terrifies me.

I got up and grabbed my jacket. It had all my cleaning supplies. Every thing I touched I cleaned before leaving the hotel. It helped cover my traces. Even though the boy saw me, he only saw me in darkly lit rooms and we only seen each other for about an hour. In his injured,drunk haze it'd be hard to describe me in detail.

I called the hotel saying that I thought someone might be hurt from a payphone a few miles away. You see I don't live here, I live a few city's over. It takes about two hours to drive here so that's even better for my case here.

I don't normally kill people, like that guy I didn't kill tonight. I've only killed three people, and I knew all of them from my highschool relationships. They used me for sex then, and then years later each of them met me at a bar. At different times of course. They all were the same though, and none of them changed. They all wanted the same thing.

So I don't know exactly why but I killed them. No mercy either, I hated them, I thought they loved me back then. I can't believe they tried to get with me again. I was so furious.

I push them out of my mind as I drive back. My thoughts move to the city's reaction. All of them were killed with in the same season, autumn. So police obviously knew it was one killer but they didn't ever find out it was me because there was so little evidence.

They nicknamed me Nightshade in the News. I secretly adapted that name to my everyday life, because it meant I could kill. Not that I always did, but to me it meant I was strong. That I would never be weak to anyone again.

I finally reached my house at three a.m. In the morning. I checked the news to see that the boy was indeed found,and not dead. I grinned, that would teach him a lesson that he would never forget.

I got ready to go to bed. It has definitely been along day. While I seemed pleased though, in my dreams were different.

That night I dreamt of love, and blood,and purple. The deep red blood covered my purple hands, as I cried on the floor. On the bed laid my parents, old "friends", and a person I didn't know. His face was blurred but he had purple hair. He was the only one not dead, but asleep.

I didn't sleep well that night. I was scared of what I could do. My conscious might be confident, but unconsciously I'm still scared.