I Still Think You're Beautiful

2: Harry

I wake up screaming, like most nights, I'm used to it now. Used to being alone, being scared, wishing it could all go away.

I grab my wand and cast a Tempus, it's 3am, might as well get up. I go over to my trunk and click it open. Rummaging through I find what I was looking for, my photo album.

The present that Hagrid gave me in my first year always seems to calm me, no matter how anxious I am, or how panicky I feel, I can just sit by the fire and flick through.

Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't. It just depends on the intensity of my nightmare. It depends on who I see.

That night I saw Cedric, he was dead, like all of the participants in my nightmares, they're always dead. So tonight as I flicked through my collection of photos I didn't cry. I just smiled at my mum, my dad and little me.

I wish I could go back to that moment where everything was simple and my parents where alive. I sit there for a couple hours, leaning against my bed in Grimauld Place.

It's silence is too deafening so I put the book back in my trunk and go downstairs. It's now a reasonable hour to be up. My bedroom is on the third floor, it used to be Sirius' room, it still is. I run my fingers over his name, I decided to keep the plaque there, to keep the memories, not that I have much of them anyway.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I undress and step in, letting the hot water comfort me, as my family can't. My tears seem so small in here, it's the best place to cry.

I get out of the shower and pull on my black ripped jeans and grey polo, just the usual. Pulling my trunk down the stairs my other hand felt painfully empty, I missed my companion. The owl that was always there for me when others weren't able to.

She had held so many memories for me, the day I'd gotten her was the day my life changed. And now she wasn't here to remind me of that blissful time when everything was so simple.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs I dropped my trunk and went into the kitchen. Not bothering to get anything to eat I looked at the clock. It was half nine. I had about an hour before I needed to leave.

Kings cross was about a 20 minute walk, if I walked fast.

I pulled my wand out of my pocket and began to clean up, seeing as I wouldn't be returning for a while, I might as well make it nice for my return. As soon as I was done I replaced my wand in my pocket and left my house dragging my trunk along with me.

As soon as I arrived at Kings Cross, Mrs Weasley pulled me into a hug. I felt awkward as she held me in her embrace. Though I'd longed for a mother figure, I didn't deserve her love.

I greeted Ron and Hermione and we ran into the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Platform 9 3/4 was also a place filled with emotion. I'd probably spent more time here than I had in the Dursley's living room.

I said a quick goodbye to the Weasleys and ran into the train, finding an empty compartment.

I lifted my trunk up and nearly dropped it as I hadn't eaten anything that day and was a bit on edge, a extra hand caught it and helped me lift it up onto the shelf. Reminding me of my first year when Fred had helped me, a painful reminder.

Never the less I turned around to thank the helpful person, finding my eyes meeting mercury blue ones, I swallowed. Draco Malfoy was staring back at me. I should really say something soon or this was going to get extremely awkward.

"Thanks" He nodded and looked in the compartment hopefully.

"You're welcome. Can I sit in here, everywhere else is full." I nodded and he pulled his trunk in. To return the favour I helped him with his. Our eyes linked once more.

I led down and closed my eyes, trying to catch up on the lost sleep that normal people get. But I couldn't so I just led there, with my eyes closed, feeling someone else's staring at me.

I opened my eyes and sat up to look out the window, the train lurched forward and left the station. Malfoy had gotten out a book and was writing, no drawing in it.

"I didn't peg you as an artist" I said trying to make conversation.

"I just do it when I'm bored usually, it's quite therapeutic." I nodded. "You should try it sometime."

"I can't draw." He merely looked back at his drawing, I took that as acknowledgement. I remember Remus telling me that my dad couldn't draw either, but my mum could, she used to draw him all the time. He told me he would have to see if he could find any of her old sketches. He never got round to it.

Malfoy must have seen my eyes clouding over as he looked at me curiously.

"You alright?" He asked, no sign of a sneer whatsoever. He'd changed, didn't think it would be possible, but he had.

"What? Yeah I'm fine." I began to wonder why I kept telling people this as I was anything but fine.

"Okay just checking, you looked like you were about to cry or something." He went back to his drawing.

"I was just thinking about, stuff. About everyone." I saw him nod out the corner of my eye. I turned to face him, his tongue stick out a bit as he concentrated on his drawing

"Can I see it?" I asked.

"What?" He looked up, looking worried.

"You're drawing, can I see it." He looked like I'd just asked him to kill someone. His face getting more pale than it already was.

"Um.. yeah sure why not." He handed over the sketch book. I looked down. It was a boy sat on the train, looking out the window, biting his lip, round glasses wonky. It was a rough sketch but I could tell he had talent.

"It's good." I said handing it back, he smiled again, going red this time. I looked out of the window again. Feeling quite flattered that he'd drawn me.

End of Chapter 2