Myself Yourself : Davids Diaries

Diary 4: Cherish the day you're given

Its been exactly 24 hours since we've arrived at hospital.

I walk out into the hallway only to be overwhelmed by the soothing smell of coffee. Luckily I still have some money in my jean pocket to buy some. The cafe is nice, simple and almost innocent looking. I take my chance by sitting down at the table in order to drink my coffee. We've been up all night. As I take a sip of the coffee it only seems to burn my tounge slightly- but oh how good it tastes. The last time I had this coffee was when my dad died, exactly 2 years ago.

My mom woke me up early , her face white as snow, her eyes red as blood itself. We jumped straight into the car, not even brushing our hair, not even caring about the mere fact that our faces were unwashed. That morning my mom was a real hell-driver, she had no concern for anyone else on the road. She was on a mission. I remember the devastating moment so clearly , the doctor simply told us "We tried our best but we couldn't save him ,we're sorry." Those words shattered my mother into a million pieces. At the time I was unaware of what the doctor was actually talking about. And then it happened , my mom bent over , tears running down her cheeks , sobbing bitterly, she whispered in my ear : 

 "David , he's gone. Baby just listen to what mommy has to say. Daddy got hurt and he well..." 

"Mom what are you talking about?" asked I , with my eyes too filling up with tears.

 "David , your dad, he's gone. He's dead." said mom almost whispering. All I could do in that moment was hug her. That hug was the only thing that kept me standing in that moment. My legs felt weak, tears falling from my face. I began to sob with her , we just stood there crying. To us it felt like our entire world had fallen apart in that moment. The doctor would then proceed to take us to the room where my fathers dead body lay. When we walked in there reality sunk in. He was gone and there was nothing we could do about it. My mom rushed up to the bed and simply started to cry at his bedside , caressing his hand slowly. There was a chair in the corner of the room , my eyes were drawn directly too it. I walked up to the bed and touched his feet , they we're cold as ever. I then went and sat in the chair, all I could do was sob.

"BUZZ... BUZZ...." my reminicing is cut short by my phone ringing. Its Liz , the new neighbour. 

"Hey David , how are you?. I heard about your cousin and if you don't mind, my mom wants me to drop off some goodies for you guys. It's just that you've been so kind to us and we really want to help out."

 "Uhhm yeah sure no problem, it's really nice of you guys" say I sounding very shocked. 

 " You sound a bit distraught , uhhhm I'll be there in the next 10 minutes" I can hear her concern in her voice.

"BUZZ... BUZZ..." my phones died. I guess I'll have to wait for her in the lobby. Thinking about my dad has really changed my perspective. I've never actually taken the time to reflect on his death in detail. The feelings I'm having are so confusing. On the one end I'm in shock about Maluna and on the other, I'm feeling lighter after thinking about my dad. I took his death incredibly hard, but on the other hand it's taught me so much. It's taught me to cherish everyday I have with the people I care about. My dad was an extrovert , he taught me that the best medicine was to smile about your day no matter what happened. I never actually realised this until now. My dads left me with something important, my dads given me a fire of bright hope and finally it burns.