Don't think or judge just listen...
I don't believe in failure because simply by saying you've failed you've admitted that you've attempted. Anyone who attempts is not a failure, those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all...
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If you were to see me in a public atmosphere you would most likely see me with a pair of headphones in my ears or you wouldn't see me at all. I am not exactly the most noticeable figure. When my parents passed I had to move away with Kalel because of her schooling. We lived through funding for awhile so we made it off alright. Now she has a job, I don't exactly know what she even does, she's never exactly home to talk about it. Since we moved I lost all of my friends. I was 14 at the time so I was going into high school, I really didn't know anyone. If you're like any of the counselors I have had, you would probably tell me to branch out and make new friends. Trust me I have heard it countless times. It's not that I don't like people or that I'm like awkwardly antisocial, I just find it easier to be on my own. No one to let me down, no one to ever have to lose. It sounds lonely, but it's fine.
I like to think I have my life in check, I go to school and get good grades. Near top of my class actually. I even have a job. I work at this little diner in town. I'm a waitress there so it's given me a chance to save up some cash for school after I graduate. I find it too risky to depend on scholarships because you never know what could go wrong. I don't do any extracurriculars however. Sports were never really my thing and I find clubs clichè. I pretty much do what I do. I like music and consider myself kind of wordly so I kinda just take it day by day.
The amount of therapy Kalel has tried to put me into is dramatic. She thinks that since I always spend my time alone that I must be depressed or some shit. I'm not. I'm not some pill popper or a cutter. I don't have the guts to shoot myself quiet frankly. I'm just me. I guess I lack personality. I get why Kalel worries, dead parents and all. But I like to think I recovered from the situation quickly. It is what it is, is what I say.
Junior year today. I take it as usual come into school, go to locker, grab shit, leave locker, go to class. Nothing bothers me more than those prudy white bitches who come into school with a prada purse and carmel latte everyday like their life depends on it. I usually sit down and listen to my spotify playlists with my headphones blasted until the teacher decides to do something.
"I don't know?"
Startled I look up, to notice him. I recognize him right away. His name is Sam Peterson. I would probably describe him as that one guy who is usually a smart ass with the teacher, class clown, you kinda hate the guy cause he can be annoying as hell but you also can't help but like him cause he's the hilarious kind of guy. You really like him when he calls the teacher a dick.
"Excuse me?" I reply.
"I don't know, Jon D. The song you're listening too, right?'" He ushers.
I get it now. " Um yeah, how-"
"Your earbuds are blastin loud, remember that when you wonder why your ears are bleeding." He chuckles.
"Oh, ok thanks? But how did you-"
" I like the song, couple of his actually, I like Mechanical heart too."
"You have a habit of interrupting people you know that?" I remark.
"Or are you just predictable?" He states.
"Excuse me?"
"What? You are."
"You don't even know me."
"Oh but I do. You're loner girl, you're always listening to music, sitting by yourself. I'd take it as a public statement. You think you're too good for people."
"Fuck you."
"Jesus, I was only joking."
"Yeah well I didn't find it funny, and it doesn't really concern you."
"Well that's true but-"
"Shh."
"Well look who is interrupting now." He chuckles.
He laughs and turns his head to face the front. I do the same. I guess it was cool that he knew and liked the song. He makes eye contact with me often for the rest of the period. Eventually the bells rings and I make my way out of the classroom, I noticed him lingering behind me. I stopped at my locker and he grabbed my locker door after I opened it.
"What is it with you?" He questions looking me dead in the eye.
"What do you mean?"
"You're kinda closed off, you're different to say."
I stood there puzzled. Was this guy on crack or something cause god he said some weird shit. He could tell I was tongue tied, he grinned and walked away shortly after brushing my shoulder.
"See ya around, Eve."
The last person I ever heard who called me that, was my mother.
