The Doll Collector

Chapter 21: The Doll Collector

Such a deep haziness surrounded Mia and I. Despite being entrapped here, in this moment, I knew it was only a dream. My lucidity did not deter what I was experiencing. Mia held me close to her, promising that Rick would never get to me. I was still in shock from what had just happened.

Mia and Abigail had busted in like knights to protect their ward. I could still see them moving so fluidly while knocking him out and dragging his unconscious body back to his room.

It was the first time I had ever felt truly protected. Mia trailed her fingers through my hair and kept the subjects light, steering my thoughts away from what had just happened. Abigail was sound asleep in her bed, giving into heavy snores.

Mia explained that she had sleep apnea that developed after one of her mother's friends broke her nose. My body shook with a tremor, an aftershock of Rick's attempts to defile me. I curled closer to Mia, inhaling the stale scent of her perfume.

I learned later that it was a secret bottle she kept stashed underneath her mattress. She'd stolen it one afternoon, after school, and only used it when she needed a pick me up. It was a sure sign that something was wrong whenever she wore it, and in this instance, it also served to comfort me.

Mia continued to play with my hair and assured me that I would be safe so long as they were there. It made my stomach curl in guilt and disgust with myself. Was I so incapable of taking care of myself that I needed two teenage girls to serve as my guardians? My mother was right, I was nothing. I was so weak.

Yet, Mia's gentle strokes softened my self-hatred in the moment, and she reminded me that it was a give and take arrangement between people. They had given me protection and now I would offer them the same.

To this day, I always remembered the words that she whispered to me on that night. "Life has a shitty way of introducing you to the people that belong in your life. It has been a terrible life for the both of us, but a friendship can blossom from the worst situations."

I could hear those words whenever things got heavy, and it always seemed to work.

I awakened slowly with a heavy weight on my chest. Dreams of her were rare these days, but always were about that night. It was the first time I had ever been close to a woman. Women after that were nothing but late-night pieces of pleasure.

I stared up at the ceiling taking in deep breaths to stabilize myself.

Images of the night before filtered in and out. I shut my eyes quickly, remembering how I had exposed myself to Maria. Every detail had been spilled, nothing sugar coated or redacted from the original story.

How could I have done such a stupid thing? Those parts of me were supposed to be buried, they had died with my girls.

I rolled off of the bed in a huff and stepped into the bathroom for a hot shower. It was my hope that it would help clear the mood, but it didn't. If anything, it gave me ample time to ponder the situation. There was no going back now, the damage had been done. I had ruined my own plans. Idiot.

All through getting dressed and getting ready for work, the environment felt oddly thick. It was like a mixture of anger, grief, and sadness. Were they my emotions or a hangover of Maria's?

I went to the kitchen to start on breakfast after feeding Eloise a scoop of kibble. She seemed unperturbed with the situation. Pets never did seem to understand what was happening in the complex lives of their humans.

My next-door neighbors were enjoying their first meal of the day as a family. They didn't notice me at the window staring, so I didn't move until my own food was ready.