As soon as the thought spaced into her mind it was all that's Nakoto could think about. Her leg didn't seem to sting anymore and instead it was replaced by the buzzing of thoughts that floated in Nakoto's brain. The closet that had been invaded by expensive costumes and spare uniforms seemed to shrink in perspective and Nakoto could feel the familiar feeling of panic that she once felt only two months previously when she had first lost her notebook and met the Host Club for the first time.
How could I do this again?!
Her heart was sprinting in her chest as she ran to the door. If it weren't for the burned leg and the pain that shot up through her thigh which each step, Nakoto would have forgotten the fact that she was half naked and was prepared to run out screaming with her pale skin bare and exposed in front of the crowd of hormone filled teenagers. Quickly with sweat beginning to collect below her hair line and with a nervous hand, her trembling fingers grasped the custom silk yellow dress that she hadn't bothered to check the size and threw it over her body. As soon as she had pulled the hem of the skirt below her knees, Nakoto stumbled to the off-white door and threw it open with as much might as she could handle. Outside the door was a large crowd of confused and curious faces. Leaned against the door was almost every single club leader besides Haruhi and Kyoya. The cross dressing student stood on the other side of the crowd trying desperately to pry students out of her way to forge a path to her friend. With her right hand Haruhi parted the members that huddled tightly with one another to snoop on Nakoto and with her left, she gripped a bag of melting ice that made her fingers numb from the cold.
With her brow fixed in a serious scowl, Haruhi was forced to yell over the murmur of students "Come on guys! Get out of the way!". When no one seemed to budge, Haruhi growled under her breath and gently pushed the herd of girls out of her way. Once she had finally reached the core of the crowd, Haruhi was able to see Nakoto's face.
She wished she hadn't.
Nakoto's eyes were bulging as they screamed silently in horror of the crowd. Her hands were trembling and although her ears were bright red, the rest of Nakoto's face was paler than a freshly washed sheet. However, it wasn't Haruhi who shielded the petrified girl from the humiliation of wearing the very over sized uniform, instead, by everyone's surprise, it was Mori who did so.
His tall figure stepped in front of the short girl like a human shield as he stared monotonously onward past the forty shocked faces of club leaders and members. Haruhi stopped pushing girls to the side and instead smiled at Mori for protecting her friend. Honey who glared by Mori's side at the crowd jumped in surprise when a small trembling hand landed on his shoulder from behind Mori's human fortitude. "Huh?" Honey exclaimed as his head snapped in the direction of the hidden Nakoto. He leaned in and with a surprised and serious glare, he climbed on top of Mori's shoulder and yelled as loud as he could, "Who here has seen a dark violet notebook!"
The crowd of teenagers simply looked confused as their heads snapped left and right in confusion. Some girls bowed their heads to the ground in search of the notebook. The rest of the club simply stared at Honey and Mori in confusion as they stood numbly. After a minute of rustling, Kyoya asked the members to all leave excluding the leaders and Nakoto. Once the chaos had subsided and the large grand doors had brought to a close, the group huddled together in concern.
"She totally did that on purpose!" Honey exclaimed as Hikaru and Kaoru nodded their heads in sync. "I saw that too" they both spoke in unison before bringing their line of sight to Nakoto. The girl sniffled, bring her hand to rub the edge of her nose before bringing her eyes down to the ground. "I don't care about that..." Nakoto whispered beneath her breath. Tamaki gave a fierce look over the group before grabbing a chair from behind his back and dragging it out in front of him, where he then took a step onto the seat and stood proudly, "Do not fret Nakoto! We will find your notebook even if it kills us!"
Hikaru leaned into his brother's ear and whispered loudly, "But not really though right?". His brother glanced at Hikaru before given a small weary nod in agreement. Nakoto sighed as she shared a glance at Haruhi, her dark brown eyes casting their way from the girl to the ground in disappointment.
"Are you okay Nakoto?" Haruhi seemed the only one in the room to ask that much-needed question and once the sentence had made its way into the air, the rest of the group's eyes followed the question onto Nakoto's well-being. Nakoto breathed heavily as she played with the hem of her skirt with her shaking fingers. "Yeah, I'm fine." The words fell on themselves as her voice cracked under the lie. She was not fine, she was angry at herself more than anything. She then slowly got up, straightening her poor posture and hastily ran out of the room, aware of the eyes following her leave.
The doors slammed shut.
Nakoto marched down the side walk and with each angry thought directed toward her self her pace fastened a little. By her first minute walking home she was sprinting and as her four-year-old brown sneakers hit the pavement Nakoto nearly tripped over herself and the cracks in the cement. Finally unable to breathe from running, she stopped and fell to the ground on her knees and hands as they slid onto the cement peeling off a layer of her skin. Nakoto screamed as loud as she could in a cloud of rage and anger at herself. She couldn't stop asking herself the question that seemed to plague her mind.
What is wrong with me?!
Never had she felt so angry and sad all at once, it was as if her emotions had finally caught up with her running and Nakoto could finally feel the weight on her chest as she wheezed and coughed. Nakoto sat down, crossing her legs and wiping the sweat from her brow, still feeling the sting of the fall. Finally, after a long time, Nakoto's breathing had calmed to a slow pattern and her heart stopped pounding from inside her chest. Nakoto then took in her surroundings as she realized she was still a couple of minutes away from her neighborhood but she analyzed the houses that surrounded her. The houses had become a lot less grand and instead had turned more suburban. No one seemed to be outside and there was very few activity coming from inside of the houses. The gardens depending on the house seemed constantly well trimmed and colorful. The paint on the houses seemed a few years old and as Nakoto looked further in the direction of her own house she could see the damaged paint more frequently. Finally feeling ashamed of comparing her house and neighborhood to the one she was currently in, she bowed her head and kept her sight on her shoes.
After walking for ten minutes, Nakoto had a sense of vigilance. The cement seemed more cracked, gum and cigarettes littered the unkempt grass and as she made her way to her home she could see the abandonment of care in her home. She saw the overgrown grass and the dirt that crawled over the walls. Nakoto continued to look at the house, wondering of the life she has led so far. The misfortunes she's faced. Nakoto looked to the drive way and instantly the observations stopped. The air in her lungs drained and Nakoto's brown eyes widened with shock.
It was her dad's car that lay in the drive way.
Dun Dun Dun!!!
-CNChapin12
YOU ARE READING
Innocence OHSHC
FanfikceNakoto Ayami: a high school sophomore obsessed with words. For the past five years, her mother has battled mental illness, and repression has become Nakoto's norm. The only thing keeping her sane is a violet notebook soaked in poetry. After losing...
