I Don't Deserve You (A Jamilton College AU)

Chapter 8: Advice

When you copy and paste everything, but forget to post it...

~~~

“...and now Laf hates me,” Alex sobbed the end of his story to Washington.

George sat there, processing everything that was said to him while rubbing comforting circles on his back.

“So...you cheated on Thomas?” George decided to start with that. “With your best friend?”

“Laurens isn’t my friend anymore because of that. I broke that relationship up immediately.”

“Didn’t you learn from the last time, son?”

“I know, dad, I know...and there’s no excuse as to why I did it.”

“There’s no excuse, but there is a reason. In this case, and only in this case, John was harassing you. He wouldn’t stop begging. With Maria, she only had to ask once, but you were stronger this time. You had a stronger bond with Thomas and you wanted to keep him in your life. Unfortunately, you fell back into your old habits and became weak. You said that James Reynolds overworked you?” At Alex’s nod, George continued. “Yeah...I can tell he was still bitter about that whole thing two years ago.”

George paused, trying to see how he wanted to say what would help Alexander.

“Then he broke up with you when he got back?”

“We didn’t break up, per se...we just took a break from each other,” Alex said, looking to his dad for help.

“I see...so you took a break from each other for about two weeks before Thomas wanted to get back together with you, correct?”

“Mmhm, and I was surprised, since it was so early to forgive me like that.”

“And that's probably where he went wrong,” George commented. “You two got back together too quickly. You weren't ready for that. You feel pressured and overwhelmed with emotions. You still felt bad about the whole incident and you felt you weren't good enough. Eliza just awakened those feelings in a very inappropriate way.”

“Yeah.”

“Then somehow Lafayette got involved and he hates you?”

“Thomas went to Lafayette for comfort.”

“Right,” George scratched his head. “He and Thomas must be close friends.”

“Yeah. If Je-James Madison wasn't his best friend, Lafayette would own that title,” Alexander said with a little laugh. “What should I do, dad?”

“Well, you shouldn't get rid of your relationships, of course. It's okay to have friends. Nobody's perfect no matter how hard they try. People make mistakes and mistakes can be forgiven in a matter of time. Trust me when I say that Thomas loves you with all of his heart, and I can tell you love him all the same. The two of you were meant to be together. I believe that he’ll be able to forgive you after a matter of time. Try talking to Thomas. Don't mention the relationship, just talk as friends. Maybe add in some ‘forgive me flowers’ since you’re a gentleman. As for Lafayette...as soon as Thomas is better, I'm sure he’ll be right back on your side.”

“You think that would fix the damage?” Alex asked innocently.

“I think it would help. Make sure to apologize, but I assumed you were going to do that anyway.”

Alexander laughed and nodded.

“There's a flower shop on campus, I'm sure you can find the perfect bouquet of flowers there. And if you ever need me, I'm always here for you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Alex smiled and hugged Washington tightly.

“Anything for my son,” George hugged him back.

~~~

Thomas took a seat at the coffee shop, a warm caramel latte in his hand and a half eaten toasted cinnamon raisin bagel on a napkin on the table. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t get his mind off of Alexander.

Did he still love him? He wanted to say no, but...his heart wouldn’t let him. Why couldn’t he just let him go? All Alexander Hamilton caused was heartbreak.

Thomas sighed and sipped his latte. He wished all the pain would go away. He wished they could be the couple they were before Macaroni was taken away. He wished Alexander wasn’t so emotional. He wished his own self wasn’t so emotional.

And great, here came the waterworks. He loved Alexander so much, it hurt. He wanted Alexander, but if the immigrant wanted to break his heart and break up with him, then fine. He wouldn’t deal with that jerk again.

Someone sat across from him, and it only took him a second to realize it was Angelica. She offered a smile, but Thomas only gazed down at the table.

“I know you’re hurting, really hurting,” Angelica began. “Wanna talk about it or do you want me to do all the talking first?”

“You were right,” Thomas whispered dangerously low, but Angelica heard it nonetheless. “I should’ve listened. I shouldn't have tried to get back together with him. I shouldn’t-”

“Hey, hey, shhhh,” Angelica went over and wrapped him up in a hug. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Thomas tried to stop the tears from rolling down, but he couldn’t stop them. “Sorry. I’m getting tears all over your beautiful blouse and-”

“Go ahead and cry. It’s just a blouse, I can wash it. You letting out your emotions is more important to me,” Angelica rubbed circles around his back.

They stayed like this for a couple minutes, Angelica holding her friend tightly and Thomas silently crying on her. Once Thomas was calm enough to talk, he ranted his spiel.

“A day after I got back together with him...he broke up with me,” Thomas sniffled and sipped some of his latte.

“Are you serious?” Angelica asked upset.

“Yeah,” Thomas sighed. “He kissed me and then told me he wanted to break up with me because he was done with relationships and that he ruined trust and friendships and that I deserved better than him.”

“You do deserve better. If Alexander is only causing you heartbreak, you need to get him out of your life,” Angelica said.

“But it’s so hard, Angelica,” Thomas cried, but stopped the tears from coming out. “I love him so much.”

“Thomas, you can’t love someone that keeps bringing you heartbreak,” Angelica grabbed Thomas’ hand. “I know it’s hard, but you have to let him go. He’s no good for you and you’re too good for him. Trust me, Thomas, please.”

Thomas looked up at Angelica’s pleading eyes. He really wanted to believe her, he really wanted to trust her. Could he let go? Could he give up on Alexander? That one little itch in his heart was telling him to wait for Alex, but he was tired of fighting for someone who didn’t want to be with him.

With a squeeze of her hand, Thomas nodded. “I trust you. I’ll let him go. I’m done with him and all the heartbreak. I don’t want someone who wants you one second and doesn’t the next. I want to move on...I need to move on.”

Angelica grabbed Thomas’ other hand and smiled. “I’ll be here with you the whole time, I promise.”

Thomas smiled back. “Thank you.”

~~~

(1173 words)

Welp, that's enough heartbreak for one day! Thank you guys for over 200 reads! I hope you all are enjoying this! I have so much more planned and I can't wait for you to see! Anyway, I'll see you guys on Friday! Love you all, and you know what to do if you enjoyed! See ya!