Fake AH Crew Oneshots

One-shot #6

A fist connected hard with Jeremy's face as he tried to turn and kick. The impact knocked the small man off his balance, causing him to stumble back a few feet.

"You fucker," he growled through his clenched teeth and regained his footing. He kicked off hard from the ground, charging forward into the waiting stance of the masked thug. He swung his foot around, hitting his foe hard in the side of his abdomen. The thug doubled over in pain and Jeremy threw his fist forward towards the man's face, hoping to dish out what he had received.

However, the guy quickly recovered and stepped back, Jeremy's hand swinging through thin air. They continued at this rigorous hand-to-hand combat, empty guns lay discarded in the distance. Jeremy needed backup.

He used all his force to shove the thug back, successful flooring him. He hastily placed a finger to his ear to radio the rest of the Fakes, only to find a cracked earpiece that had received the brunt of a previous swift kick to Lil J's head.

He became even madder. "I repeat myself; you fucker!" Before the man had stood up from his fall, Jeremy stepped on his back, keeping him pressed to the hard cement. "Now that we know neither of our friends are coming to help, your's being because they are all dead while mine are just assholes, I believe you should admit defeat." Before Jeremy had even finished his proposition, the thug had managed to roll out from under the Fake's weight and looped his foot around Jeremy's legs.

In one solid motion, he kicked his leg forward, throwing Jeremy heavily to the ground with a heavy thud. Without a moment passing, he took off from where he had come from.

Jeremy caught his breath after having it knocked out of him and managed to get up off the floor without losing too much time. He spotted the thug running away and red filled his vision. "You aren't getting away that easy," he began to run over to where the man had disappeared behind a doorway, yet before he even made it halfway, the guy had returned with two SMG's tucked under his arms. "Okay, maybe you are."

Jeremy jumped and rolled behind a crate as the first shots were fired, inches away from where he stood. He wiped the sweat away from under his cowboy hat and scouted out where to go. A small metallic hallway was only a couple of metres to his left but the warehouse was massive, Jack couldn't even find the full blueprints, so Jeremy was going in blind.

As the thug rounded the side of the crate, Jeremy had already taken off at full sprint down the hallway to move in on his new destination, his motive being, 'don't get shot.' He whipped around and turned into the first doorway he saw. The sound of bullets pelting into hard metal echoed all around him as he tried to adjust his eyes to the sudden darkness that had enveloped him.

The first thing he saw was a large table, and what was on that table caused him to smile, wide. He was ready.

The thug seized fire as he cautiously walked down the narrow hallway, trying to be prepared for anything the colourful espionage agent would throw at him. A small clatter by his feet drew his attention. Looking down, he saw a small, green grenade with the pin still in it.

Curiously, he picked it up to investigate. His feelings of this being a mistake were confirmed by the muffled "fuck," that enacted from the room next to him. The thug chuckled softly and prepared his machine guns for attack. He stepped around the corner expecting to face a magically empty room, the Fake somehow getting away again. Instead his jaw dropped as he took in the orange and purple man holding a grenade launcher with a wicked grin across his face.

Without having a second to react, an explosion rocked throughout the warehouse, the entire wall and man standing in front of Jeremy completely obliterated. The short man let out a hoarse cheer from where he lay pressed against the opposite metal wall due to the impact.

"Lil J, you in there buddy?" Michael's concerned voice rung loudly through the the sound of falling rubble.

Jeremy hoisted himself to his feet using an exposed metal bar, his upper body strength really coming to use. Looking down, he noticed a piece of metal shrapnel had lodged it's way deep into his leg, thick blood dripping hastily downwards.

He looked around until he saw a small hole of light infiltrating the roof of the warehouse with Michael's bandana covered face peeking through. "Yeah, I'm here!" Jeremy called out as loudly as he could, hoping Michael would be able to hear it.

The metal and concrete building groaned again and Jeremy was left confused and slightly scared. There was no way his grenade launcher did all this, the whole structure was going to come down.

He went to take a step towards the frame where a door used to be and cried out in pain. With the adrenaline in his blood running out, he could feel his muscles contracting painfully against the intrusion of the bar in his leg.

"What the fuck was that?" Michael yelled louder from the ceiling, his eyes darting about for the sign of his fellow Fake. His attire usually wasn't this hard to miss.

Jeremy tried to take another step and winced in pain. This was going to take a while. "I got impaled, man!" Michael's face disappeared from the window and a long ladder was being lowered down to where Jeremy waited. His face dropped from pain to annoyance as he looked at the metal rungs in front of him. They really couldn't expect him to climb it, could they?

"I can't get up there!"

"That's why I put down a ladder, dumbass! Climb up!"

Lil J rolled his eyes and put one hand into the highest bar he could reach and used the other bruised arm to lift his injured leg onto the ladder. He made sure he wouldn't fall and looked back up at the hole again. "Pull me up!"

His request was met with immediate silence and after several minutes, he felt himself lift an inch above where he was. However, it didn't last long and he quickly fell back to his original height.

Gavin's face popped into view from above him, blocking out more light he needed to see. "You're too heavy, just make your way up here!"

"Oh my god, I hate them," Jeremy sighed before calling out once again towards the gang of idiots above him. "I'm fucking bleeding out down here. If all five of you work toget-" Gavin's loud voice quickly cut him off and he rolled his eyes yet again.

"Five? It's only me and boy up here. We were sent to blow this place up, which we did. Quite well."

"You blew up a building while I was in it?" Jeremy couldn't help the rage that had began to leak into his voice as his usually repressed anger began to grow. His yelling had grown louder and he could almost see Gavin flinch from down where he was.

The Brit's face disappeared and Jeremy was left in quiet again, clinging onto the ladder as if it was his only hope of survival, which at this point, it practically was.

Out of the silence came loud banging from above and moments later an entire metal sheet had fallen away from the hole that the ladder was going through. But considering the metal was from the roof right above Jeremy, he had to quickly dodge the falling sheet before it sliced him open on its way down. It clanged loudly to the ground and Jeremy swung slightly on the spot, his once stagnant ladder moving along with him.

"How was that supposed to help?" If Jeremy could, he would be pinching his face right now, hoping this whole adventure was a stupid dream but the sting in his leg spoke otherwise.

Once again, he received no answer beside echoed footsteps above him. What the hell was going on?

As he slowly lost any hope he had, the thunderous roar of a helicopter reached his ears. The SWAT Team was here? That means they just left him here to the authorities. The feeling of belonging to the FAHC that he had grown over the short while he'd been there had turned against him and his heart sunk low. Those asshole.

A sudden jolt on the ladder alerted him to his surrounding again and through the large hole in the ceiling, a green cargo-bob was hovering overhead, attached to the side of it was the ladder he clung desperately onto. An easy grin spread across his face as he began to ascend along with the chopper.

"I guess they aren't that bad for a group of losers."