Am I In Love With My Boy Best Friend?

Ch.12: Suicide?

I started to think about suicide... I know... it got this far. I couldn't.. A guy I loved for too long just threw me in the trash. And it hurts.

I started thinking more about suicide, just the thought of stopping this suffering would really help. 

QUICK AUTHORS NOTE: Guys, suicide doesn't end anything, it just makes life worse! You didn't get to live your precious life and you screw it up by dying. YOLO. C: If you are having problems and thinking about commiting, please don't, and call 1(800)273-8255 , suicide hotline.

 I didn't want to suffer anymore. I didn't. So I started thinking about it, over and over. It would make Blake live in guilt. Just what I want. I think I am. Like honestly, I can't anymore. Continuing to check social media just made life worse since all you see is ALISON. So... I deleted everything. And I threw my phone on the ground. It cracked. I wrote down a long paragraph on a sheet of paper for my parents.

To Mom & Dad,

                Mom, dad, I'm sorry but, you guys didn't help me during my depression and I had to end this somehow. I decided it would be best to just leave the world and enter heaven. I know you'll probably be upset but I can't do this anymore. It was 11 years of my life obsessed with this guy, losing him, makes me lose myself, he took me for granted. He hated me. He was a fake. I grew up with a fake person. Like really? Tell Kayla to take care and that I love her so much and to not follow my footsteps. I love you guys a lot too and losing you guys is gonna be so hard. I'll hug you guys so tight and then I will leave. I am so sorry. Honestly, but I can't! I CAN'T DO THIS MOM. DAD I CAN'T! If you show this to Blake, good. Tell Blake I said that I don't like him and I hope he lives good with Alison. Just tell him that I said, this was all his fault. I commited suicide because of him. 

          xoxo

                 Ari <3

There we go. Sorry but tomorrow's the day.