So here is everything that has happened before. We are still together. I think we are going strong ; but I feel like we are weakening and I feel like it's my fault. I decided I couldn't handle the life I had so I moved 1000 miles away. I left him there. Which hurt like hell! I've been here for a week now and some parts are good some parts are not. For this reason that I can't explain. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own emotions and drowning in my tears. I think it's because of how much pain I caused everyone when I left.
I want to make him so happy but I don't feel like I am anymore. I love him until my last breath. I always wonder if he feels the same? Maybe after he reads this...We'll talk. Maybe. Communication skill are not doing so hot.
Sometimes my depression gets in the way of my relationship with him. But I don't know how to tell him. I'm also scared of him asking me questions that I can't answer. Learning about my depression is like learning a whole new language ; and I myself is still on lesson 1. So I cant answer every question. I hope he understands... Well until next time.
( If you are reading this I'm so sorry. I love you so much and sometimes I can't explain the way I feel)
