Fundamental Affair (IILWTE sequel)

Chapter 1: Missed Chances

Quinn's P.O.V.

The rain was pouring in faint droplets against the window pane. After a few seconds, the drops would slowly slide down the pane, never to be seen again. In some ways, I wish I was a rain drop. A few minutes passed before my eyes shifted from the blurry pane to the wrinkled paper that was firmly in my grasp. Some of the words were blotchy; A sign that the writer had been crying. 

Then again, the paper did smell of alcohol. The smudges could be from splashes of booze. Considering who the note was from, I was willing to bet my life on it. The smell wasn't the only thing that caused me to grimace. The words were just as rancid. I was torn between angered, and sorrowful.

Quinn,

I'm not expecting a response from you after this. Hell, I'm not expecting your friendship after this. Are we even still friends? Do I want your friendship? The answer to both of those questions are the same as they've been months ago. I don't know. After you read what I have to say, then you could do the thing I could never do. Call off this 'friendship' we have. 

First off, let me start by saying I'm sorry. You know what, no. I'm not sorry. With the way things have been going, I'm not sure I'll ever be sorry. My job is on the line, and let me tell you, that line is pretty thin. Almost as thin as my patience. My patience with you. I'm growing tired of this, Quinn. So very tired with you.

We used to be friends, Quinn. Best friends actually. Family in fact. You were a mess. Don't be mad when I say that. I just meant that you were alone, and no one should feel as alone as you were. I was more than happy to become your family. The only problem was that I became your brother. Not what I exactly wanted to be. I know I'm too late, and congratulations on growing a pair and deciding to ask Vivian to marry you. I wish you could tell me what she says, but I'm afraid to hear the answer. Why? Frankly, the answer is simple. I'm in love with you.

I know I missed my chance, but damn, Quinn. I face dangerous situations daily, and I never bat an eye. With you, I always became a terrified little boy who picked on his crush instead of saying anything head on. Well you know what? That boy is grown. That boy is grown, but he still fearful to lose his best friend. The same best friend who fell hard for another woman and left him in the dust. The only family he had, who grown up herself, and found a new family.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, so please don't feel guilty. I'm only clearing the weight that is weighing me down. If I didn't confess, the weight was surely going to drive me straight into the ground. I'm afraid that this is where things get messy. That's to say if it hasn't already. I just wanted to let you know that I'm done. I'm done being the brother that is slowly fading into the background.

I can't make you choose between the two of us. I will not make you choose. Let's face it, I know who you would choose. It's quite obvious. Maybe, maybe I'm afraid to hear you say it. It would just make it more real. I am completely regretful of the fact that I am dropping this on you before you're going to propose, but if I didn't say it now, I wouldn't have said it at all. Hell, I'm considering crumpling this up, and setting it on fire. Anyways, I've had my time as your brother, and it's time to step aside, and let Vivian's brothers take my place. With the way you write about them, I'd say that my shoes will be filled, and some.

I'm sorry that our friendship has to end on this note. Literally. I hate that I am too much of a coward to say this to you face to face, but in more ways than one, I think it's better this way. At least I won't have to hear your silence when I would walk away. I love you, Quinnie the Pooh. Decipher that to what you will. This is goodbye.

Love,

Your (ex)buddy James

Tears spilled down my cheeks like the rain on the window. He said to diminish my guilt, but it was raging full force. I left not only my life behind, but my friend. For what? Vivian's freedom. My eyes instinctively glanced at our open bedroom door. A small smile graced my lips when I saw a sleeping Vivian.