Beyond The Lights

Hold Me By The Heart

When it comes to relationships, um
I truly feel like wholeness can come from brokenness
We can find love in the most strange places
Um, that we didn't expect
And I think that's the beauty in love
I think that's the beauty in connecting with other people
Through our hurt, through our growth
And through the struggle

Pick up the pieces
Help me learn to stand
Lift me from the ground and use your hands
To hold me by the heart
Tell me I'll be whole again
Hold me by the heart
Tell me it will never end
'Cause I've begun to think that
I was nothing short of broken
So baby, hold me by the heart (hold me by the heart)
Help me fly again

I sit in the chair looking at Ryan it's now week 3 and he still hasn't moved and neither have I. The only person who has been coming and checking up is Bryson and occasionally some of Ryans friends my dad comes once in a while.       I've become very sad since I and Kehlani's break up and dealing with everything going on with my brother. I haven't talked to her since but this is the worst pain I've ever felt its totally different from being with a guy with a girl they really know how to break your heart and this shit physically hurt. I'm broken but ill show Kehlani what a hoe is I'm tired of being sad fuck her... fuck her 

I turn and hear a knock on the door 

"Come in," I say dryly.

 "Hey, baby girl," Bryson says giving me a kiss on my forehead.

 "Hey," I say.

 "Hows he doing," he says sitting down in front of me.

"Same."

he nods his head and motions for me to come out of the room and I go.

"Queen let me take you out somewhere you can't be here all day it's killing you."

"I don't wanna go out I'm not up for the paparazzi," I say folding my arms and staring down at my feet.

"Then we can chill at my place I want you to get out of here." he says lifting up my face with his finger.

I stare at him for a while then I agree.

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We walk into his apartment which I've never been in before it was nice for the most part.Bryson has been the only person checking up on me throughout my situation he's been a great friend. I sit down on the couch next to Bryson and kick off my shoes staring at the tv trying to not think about whats going on. "Queen whats going on with you I'm used to you being happy all the time and now you're really down I hate seeing you like this." I look down biting my lip and shaking my head. "I don't know, I just feel alone," I say as I start to cry, The truth is that I'm weak and I need someone to love me to make me feel better. 

"I'm always going to be there for you Queen I care about you a lot." he pulls me into a hug with tears streaming down my face. He gives me a kiss. I don't know but it felt good yet weird... like it's the right thing to do but I feel like.... idk never mind. I continue with the kiss for a second then pull away "Can you just hold me?" I ask to shake the weird feeling. He nods his head and we lay down slowly wraps his tatted arm around me. Baby don't let me down I gotta lot going on right now and I need you to hold me.

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"Lani I know you're going through some shit but you can keep having random girls around, I've put up with this for a month now." Noodles nags. "Alright, I'll chill with the girls." I plea as I light my blunt. "So what are you doing for our week off?" I ask her to change the subject.We have a whole week of no-shows "Do you really wanna know?" noodles askes.

"Duh that's why I asked ya bighead self I was gonna hang with you." sometimes she can be really slow I swear. "Will I'm going to a concert on Tuesday if you must know." Noodles say. "Can I come with yall baby?" Kayla says appearing out of nowhere and I palm my face into my hand "Fuck my life." I think. "Sorry invite only." Noodles says giving Kayla the side eye. "Baby, can you go back into the room," I tell Kayla and she walks away. " so you're just gonna move on like that? With that?" noodles says disgusted with me. " look I've already told you this it's over with me and Queen. All I do is cause problems in her life, She has enough going on I don't want her to worry about me. Plus, she made it clear that she doesn't want me around anymore." I explain. " Have you seen queen lately? Her brother is getting worse and her dad is working her l like a slave. You're supposed to be there for her like she was there for you when you were going through stuff with your mom... Shes hurt people say dumb things when they are hurt. She doesn't need you as a lover she needs you as a friend ." noodles begins looking at me to see if there was one thread of humanity left in me. "You heard what I said noodles," I tell her then walk away.... I guess there isn't.

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I know yall show this shit with Demi and Kehlani