Trigger Warning: Suicide
Mark's POV
I am imperfect. It is the only thought in my mind. The thought ruins my life. I wish it were untrue, however it is clear as day. The Clave still doesn't trust me. They are convinced that I am just as scheming as the rest of the faeries. Yet I made the decision to leave the hunt, to leave my boyfriend, the one person who's love trumped anyone else's. I chose to go back to my family, and I regret that choice. I now have to watch everyone around me, the perfect images of shadowhunters.
The nephilim say the fae are evil, yet they are even more so. Taking away my rights because I am different. Now they ruin my family's lives because they are related to me. If I am gone, my family will be able to have good lives again. If I am gone, I will not be endangering Kieran by making him venture out of the hunt to visit me.
Today, he will visit again, only to find me lying on the cold tiles of the bathroom, soaked in blood, clutching a note for him. A note for Julian and Emma, a note for Kit, Ty and Livia (Because I refuse to believe that she is dead) and a note for Dru and Tavvy.
I grip the blade in my hand tightly, ready to let it glide over my pale skin. The pain hits, but I don't cry out. I know I deserve the pain, to make up for all the pain that I have caused my family. Red blood flows down my arms as I cut deep into my arm. Every cut I make is deeper than the last. Every cut I make, my vision blurs just a tad more, until everything fades into nothingness.
Kieran's POV
I am sat outside the institute, waiting for Mark. He is never late, so I decide to try and enter the institute. A light is on in the kitchen, and I can see Kit and Livvy in there stealing cookies. I hate to ruin their midnight feast, but I need to go see Mark. I softly tap on the window and mouth,
"Let me in please!"
They seem to understand as they run off and a few seconds later the door is being opened.
"You here for Mark?" Libby whispers. I nod my head.
"Good luck getting him out of his room. He hasn't come out for most of the day." At that I simply sprint to Mark's room. That is very unusual for him. I knock on the door but he doesn't answer so I just walk in. I can't see him, so I walk into his ensuite. I see my lover lying on the ground, pale as a ghost, blood staining his clothes. I check for a pulse. There is none. I scream out, falling to the ground, with none of my regal grace. Tears drop down my cheeks as I pull Mark's body towards me. My teardrops create patches where you can see his skin, because they have washed away the blood. People begin to join me in the small bathroom. Each reacts to Marks body in a different way. Julian stands there with a blank look on his face, as if not showing the emotion will stop him from felling it. Emma stands next to him, looking between Julian and I with concern, but I can also see tears lighting up her eyes. Ty looks inconsolable, and won't even let Kit near him. Livvy is just as upset as her twin, but just goes and hugs Dru. Dru is sobbing loudly, for once not caring how she looks, just thinking of the sibling that she lost, and then found, and has now lost permanently. Tavvy is looking at us with a mixture of confusion and sadness. His big blue-green eyes look up at me as he says,
"Why isn't Mark moving? Is he dead?" I can't bear to confirm that he is, but luckily Julian whispers
"Yes Tavs, he is."
I pull out four envelopes from his hand. Each one has names on it in Mark's neat, cursive script.
I pass them out to Mark's grieving family. One letter remains in my hands. It is addressed to me. I slowly pull open the envelope, being careful not to tear the paper.
Dear Kieran,
You are my one true love. I hate myself more than anything for abandoning you, and then turning my back on you when tried to get me back.
I hope that you can look past all that and remember the good times that we shared in the hunt, at night when nobody was watching. I hope you can remember me for the midnight rendezvous we had as I tried to join the ranks of the shadowhunters yet again.
I want you to know that this wasn't your fault. I love you more than you could ever imagine. Be strong for me, and never forget me. I wish I could stay with you, but I can't. I am not good enough for this world, or any other. I want you to go on, live a happy life and find a prince or a princess to spend your life with. I couldn't waste your time for any longer though, because you, Kieran Hunter, are perfect and I, Mark Antony Blackthorn, am imperfect.
A/N
Bit different to what I'd usually write, but what do you think?
