The List: One Year, One Adventure ✔️

Chapter 14: However Far Away

Ari

Things had been weird between Ace and myself since the incident in the room, where I called Dean mine. He dodged me for poker games at the estate for a few days afterwards. He never came by my room requesting my company for the evening.

He acted like a stranger, but it didn't affect me in the ways where it might have in the past. Something about admitting in an off the way manner, that I viewed Dean as mine, liberated me slightly. It made me realize that no matter what came into my heart, there was something deep down inside that always belonged to him.

The feeling in the pit of my soul reminded me a lot of an old story my dad used to tell me about the Japanese Red String myth. He would tell me tell me the story before I went to bed about an invisible red string that was tied to your pinky finger. On the other end of your red string was your soulmate, the one you were destined to meet. The string was the connection that bound you to another person, the person with which you would make history.

My dad loved stories about the beauty of human interactions and connections between others. I remember sitting on my pink bed sheets, holding my favorite unicorn pillow and listening to his stories. At the end, I always asked him if I had a 'person,' who I would love forever. He always reassured me that my red string was sturdy and it was connected to someone who was resilient, and no matter how hard we tugged at it, the string would never frail or give.

The moment Dean asked me my name that January day, while I struggled to get my key to work on my new mailbox, I always wondered if he was the one who cared for the other end of my string.

Since coming to New Orleans, there was something different about me and I could constantly feel it swell deep inside me. The feeling was a new found sense of self. I had begun to learn how to just be and not allow all the hurt that I'd felt over the course of my life to consume me. I still had moments when I felt hopeless, but for the first time, I also had things to look forward to.

One thing I knew for sure, was that I needed to make amends with Ace. Even if he wasn't the holder of my red string and we weren't destined to be together, he was very much someone who I valued and needed in my life. Even if he couldn't forgive me, I needed to set things right, because he deserved to hear all the things I had to tell him. He finally needed to understand.

I waited outside of his door until I knew for sure that he was scheduled to leave. The look on his face when he opened and saw me standing there was not the look I wanted or expected. The man in front of me never really knew me or saw me the way the other people in my life did. The time had come for him to know me and see me for who I was.

"Arina," he stated calmly, his eyes looked somewhat cold, but more disappointed than anything.

"Ace, I need to explain some things to you and I am hoping that you'll care enough about the time we've shared to listen to them." His demeanor told me that all he wanted at that moment, was to close the door between us, but before he could, I let out one final plea, "Please."

His eyes softened when he heard my words. He entered the hallway and slowly closed the door behind him. "Ok, but let's take a walk." There was hesitancy in his voice, but he still grasped my hand and led me down and out to the street.

We walked for what seemed like forever, a bitter silence engulfed us. Finally, I decided to turn and break the silence. "Ace, before I explain about Dean. I need to tell you some things about myself."

His eyes met mine and I could sense that he was finally realizing there was more to who he thought I was and that I wasn't the picture of perfection, that he had previously painted. I told him the stories about my dad and his death, the stories about being sick and near death on many occasions. I told him about the decision to take the trip to complete the list of destinations and experience things that I may never have the chance again to experience.