Someone you used to be

HOLY SHITBALLS / I need help

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING JESUS CHRIST WE HAVE OVER 100 VIEWS OMFG THIS IS AMAZING. I KNOW ITS SMALL NUMBER BUT ITS THE FIRST TIME IVE GOTTEN ANY VIEWS OVER 100 JUST LIKE OMFG.

  But...sorry to rain on the parade. So I was going to post a Authors Note about how I need severe help when I noticed we had over 100 views.

  I'm not talking about help with the account. This is pretty manageable by myself. So I'm not asking to find someone who I'm willing to share the password with and shit like that.

I need help mentally/physically.

  Some of you may know about my past with self harm. I was about 15 when I started. I'm 17 now. It's been, say, around one month since I last self harmed.

But that all changed last night.

  So it was about 6:00 am. (Not really night but whatever). I was up early cause I had some church meeting thing at 8 for this youth camp their doing and needed to shower.

  So I woke up like normal. My mom is outta town right now for work and my dad works nights so I wasn't surprised. My brother was at a friends house. I was supposed to drive myself to the church for the meeting.

  I got up, took a shower, got out of shower, changed into some skinny jeans and a Led Zeppelin shirt. (Our church lets you wear whatever).

  I went downstairs and made cereal. I scrolled through social media while eating my fruit loops.

  Then I saw the most popular girl at school posted something about me on Instagram. It was a picture of me in a 5 Seconds of Summer shirt and skinny jeans. So, my regular attire.

This bitch.

She captioned it with,

"Omg Kylie's at it again! Wearing stupid clothes that support her stupid suicidal band"

  I ALMOST WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE JUST TO FIGHT THAT CUNT.

  Oh no, but I'm not finished with what she put after that.

"Still can't believe Ryan slept with her"

  For all you who don't know, Ryan is a touchy subject for me. All my friends know this. Ryan didn't sleep with me.

He raped me when I was 15.

  I try to avoid Ryan. All my friends know why. Cause every time I think about him, I end up wanting to self harm.

Well, this time was no different.

  I'm not gonna get into details, obviously. But I commented with "This slut obviously doesn't know he raped me" and ran up to the bathroom.

  Luckily, my best friend Chloe (you probably heard of her) saw the post. She also saw my comment. She was over at my house, banging on the bathroom door (cause she knows where we hide the spare key outside) in two seconds flat.

  "Kylie, c'mon. You don't want to do this" I remember her screaming. I just started crying. Correction, sobbing. I had made one cut. And that mother fucker hurt like a bitch.

  She called our best guy friend, Christian, and had him come over.

HE BROKE DOWN THE BATHROOM DOOR.

  I was still sobbing. He flushed all my razors down the toilet. Chloe, like the little butterfly she is, was already wrapping my arm in a ACE bandage.

Curtesy to my besties for saving me.

  Chloe will actually be taking over my account for a day or two. She'll post like I do. She already knows what I like to happen.

  She'll probably be better at writing then me.

  This is because I, obviously, need time to myself. That thing messed me up pretty bad.

Obviously.

  But I love you guys so so much and I'll see you in two days.

Byeeeeeee!
                      -Kylie💚🍕🐧🤓