MY LIFE SINCE 9 YEAR OLD AND UPWARDS

My Nightmare

CHAPTER 5

I was constantly having these nightmares of what he had done to me and my sister for about a couple of weeks. I was having restless nights and it was just always on my mind I didn't know what to do so I started to use a knife and cut myself on my arms. I would never cut deep but always left a mark on my arms.

I thought that if I cut my wrists and all my arms I would feel the pain that I had went through watching him sit there smirking because he raped my sister and I couldn't do anything about it. I wasn't bothered about me I was just more concerned for her. She was my little sister I was meant to Protect her for anything that happens to her but I never so I blamed myself for leaving her to take what he did to her.

It wasn't always using a knife to cut my wrist it was getting that bad that I was sleep walking and I was using anything that I could find because i was constantly having dreams of what he done to us. I was crying one night with a really bad night mare I had to get my dad up to calm me down because I was having a really bad night mare.

I wanted this all to be over and for us to have a better life without knowing what he did to us out that off our future but for my sister it didn't stop her from doing what she wanted to do but for me it was different I keep I couldn't forget what happened.

I knew no matter what happened to my life it would always be on my mind what he did to me and because of that I couldn't find myself to trust anyone to be with incase they done it again.

I finished college and went to do another course where I found a boy I loved got with him and thought nothing off it as I wanted to put the past behind me and try but it just wouldn't work I was scared to get close to him incase it happened again.