Flaws || h.s.

Chapter Nineteen

I didn't sleep and I don't think Harry did either. He was probably watching me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. But, regardless of whatever happened last night, he kissed me good morning after the sun rose. "Good or bad?" He asked. He had asked this before, and it was basically his way of asking how I felt.

"Bad," I said, and curled further into myself under the blanket. Last night's anxiety and full feeling hadn't gone away, and I just couldn't bring myself to move or get out of bed. My chest ached, and I refused to open my eyes, to let the morning sunlight in.

He kissed my temple and pushed my hair out of my face. "How can I help?"

"Just," I took a second to breathe. Breathing was important. "Just be here."

"Okay," Harry sat down on the bed next to me and tentatively wrapped his arms around me and held my shaking hand. "This good?" I nodded, and inhaled and exhaled so my shoulders would stop trembling and the sick feeling would go away. I let myself fall asleep in his arms, and soon the day faded away into black.

Harry was still there when I woke up around noon. My heartbeat had returned to normal and the feeling in my stomach had gone away and my chest didn't hurt so badly anymore. "Good or bad?"

"Better," I said, and shakily stood to go find the vile of pills in my makeup bag on the bathroom counter. I unscrewed the cap and swallowed one of the little green and white pills, one of the red ones and one of the white ones and then I dropped my bag and went downstairs. Harry had changed his clothes and was in the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat? I can cook or we can go out or-" he stopped talking when he saw my face drop. "Beth."

"I know," I said defensively. "I'll eat."

He sighed in relief. "Good," he said, smiling. "Are eggs good?"

I nodded. "Eggs are good."

Harry started to cook, and I turned on the radio and sat on the counter. The creepy new Robin Thicke song started to play so I changed the station. Sure enough, a One Direction song started playing. "Ah, I hate these guys," I said teasingly.

Harry turned around and grinned. "Yeah, they're the worst." I laughed, and Harry handed me a plate with scrambled eggs and two pieces of toast. He turned toward the fridge. "Ketchup?"

I scrunched my nose. "Ketchup on eggs? You still do that?" Ever since we were little, he'd refuse to eat eggs without ketchup, and I had always found it repulsive. I thought he had outgrown it, but I guess not.

"Of course! That's the only way to eat them," his tongue stuck out from his lips as he squirted ketchup onto his plate. After doing this, he sad down cross legged across from me on the countertop. He looked up at me every so often, and I took small bites just to let him know I was eating. "What do you want to do today?"

I thought about it, and truthfully, I just wanted to sleep. But if I said that he'd worry the depression was bad and he'd watch me like a hawk. "I don't know, I still have to get a graduation dress, so I should probably do that today. What about you?"

"Help a pretty girl pick out a graduation dress," Harry grinned and I leaned forward to kiss him.

"I'll go get ready then we can go, okay?" I put my plate in the dishwasher and thanked him for making breakfast before going upstairs and getting in the shower. My hair dried in waves on its own while I got dressed in a sweater and denim shorts and did my makeup, so it took me less than an hour to get ready.

Harry was watching TV and eating an orange when I walked into the living room. "Ready?" I asked.

He looked up and smiled. "You look great."