Bluer Among The Skies

Chapter 3-is this what you call feelings?. Fictional feelings

Adele.

Dinala ko si Roco sa apartment ko, gagawa kasi kami ng assignment namin sa Introduction to theory and history about films.

Partner kami sa assignment na ito kaya napagdesisyonan namin gumawa ng maaga para wala ng aabalahin pa.

Pagkapasok namin ng apartment.

"Wow you have a pretty big condo for yourself. Your parents must be rich, no wonder.~"

Sabi ni Roco na nakangiti.

"Nope, I just told them I wanna be independent even though I just recently graduate from secondary school but I was homeschooled til then. It was pretty amazing how they let me get to live on my own." Tugon ko sa kanya.

"You know what? When I first get to see you in our first class, you peck my interest even if I'm gay. I've never been friends with girls, just guys. And you're the first girl I'm friends with so to speak so please forgive me if I get surprise by you all the time" sabi niya sa akin.

Tinanong niya ako if ever nagkaboyfriend na ako, sabi ko naman sa kanya, kung ang magkaroon nga ng kaibigan eh first time ko pa lang, boyfriend pa kaya? Na ikinatawa niya, tinanong ko siya kung nagkaboyfriend na siya sabi niya sakin ay oo.

"What was it like to fall in love? Why are there people who would do anything just to fall in love? Sorry for asking but that's what I've read in the books." Sabi ko sa kanya.

"Well I wasn't in love back then, but I was happy just being with him, not the typical kind of happiness when I'm with my friends, it's a kind of happiness I would trade for the material things I have right now" ngiti sa akin ni Roco.

Ahh.. So that's how it's like pala to fall in love?

Hmm I don't know if I'm ready with that pero hindi ko muna gugustuhin yun sa ngayon.

Pagkatapos namin magsulat ni Roco para sa assignment namin ay nanuod kami ng TV.

Once in a while lang ako manuod ng TV kaya medyo nagulat sakin si Roco, para nga daw akong tigabundok kasi ang ewan ko gumamit ng gadgets at matumal ako pagdating dyan.

Sabi ko kay Roco na dito na lang sya matulog sa apartment kasi wala naman akong kasama, pumayag naman siya.

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Kinabukasan ay naghanda na kami para sa klase, ibang subject naman mula nung kahapon. Alam kong weird at mabilis ako magtiwala kay Roco pero anung magagawa ko? Siya ang unang naging kaibigan ko sa buong buhay ko. These things are new to me. Like friendship, trust and sincerity.

After nito ay may mga girls na nagpakilala sa akin. Sina Patricia, Rachel at Rowena.

It was awkward to be friends, most of the time ay they praise how I look like.  Sabi ni Roco sa akin mag-ingat daw ako sa mga babaeng to kasi feeling niya gagamitin lang nila ako. Pero sabi ko naman, I'm new to having friendships, as long as what they can offer me, masaya na ako.

At ayun naging friends ko na nga din sila. Tinatanong nila paano ko daw namemaintain yung natural wave ng hair ko? Sabi ko daily routine ko ang magsuklay and never miss a spa sesh with my mom every week. Tinanong nila kung nagkaboyfriend na ako which I told them na never pa ako nagkaboyfriend. Gulat sila kasi sa ganda ko daw na to never pa ako nagkaboyfriend nginitian ko lang sila. Nahihiya akong sabihin na homeschooled ako since kinder.

Wow, another first, bakit kaya ako nakaramdam ng hiya? Nahihiya pala ako?

Hmm ba't kay Roco di naman ko ganun? Well anyways at least I'm friends again with new people.

Maglalunch break na and napagdesisyonan namin kumain ng sabay sabay kasama si Roco. And as always andito kami sa McDonalds. I'm getting used to fast foods pero ayoko sanayin ang sarili ko.

"You know what Adele?  Most of the guys are aiming for you. like even try to strike a look and maintain an eye contact with you but you never look at them. How come you never notice them?" Tanong sa akin ni Patricia.

"Really? I don't know probably because I don't want to associate myself with anyone that much I guess? And I'm pretty dense somehow I think" ngiti ko sa kanya.

Si Patricia ang klase ng babae na kapag gustong mapansin ng lahat lalakasan niya yung boses niya para makuha ang atensyon ng iba. Somehow she gives me that feeling na I can't trust her pero I think she's a friend.

Wow, panu ko kaya naiisip ang mga ganito sa isang tao?

Sina Rachel at Rowena naman, parang sunud sunuran lang kay Patricia kaya sabi ko anu to parang yung movie na may queen bee tapos sila yung slaves?

Natawa tuloy ako ng wala sa oras nung nakita nila ako nagulat sila including Roco. Bumulong si Roco sa akin.

"Adele, you look crazy what happened? It surprised me again" ngiti niya sakin sabi ko naman sa kanya na later I'll tell you.

Si Rowena biglang nagsalita. "You two look like couples somehow, I thought you don't like relationships, Adele?"

Nainis naman akong bigla, " you know what you don't have to look at what I'm doing or associate with what I do with others, you might misinterpret it as me having a flirt with my friend here."

Nagulat sila sa sinambit ko kahit ako man ay nagulat. Bakit kaya ako nainis? Sa tono ba ng pananalita niya? O yung fact na pakielemera siya at assume niyang may something kami ni Roco?

Tumahimik naman silang bigla at napasabi ako ng sorry. i don't know why but, how come whenever we blurt out something, we say sorry even if there is nothing to say sorry about?

Probably just a penny for my thought.

Pabalik na kami sa aming school ng makaramdam na naman ako na may nakatingin sa akin, it somehow is ticklish to my senses. Like bolts looking in my way? Napansin ko naman ang isang babaeng maikli ang buhok na kulay blue ang buhok niya at kung pumorma ay parang lalaki. Nakatingin siya sa akin at somehow it makes me feel weak to my core.

ONE HELL OF A WEIRD LOOK. Parang nag imprint yung mukha niya sa utak ko, dahil kahit after classes namin ay naalala ko pa din siya.

Sabay kami ni Roco as always at napagkwentuhan namin yung ginawa ko kaninang naglalunch kami.

"That's one hell of a bad ass response, first time kong makitang magalit ka, Adele" tatawang tawa na sabi ni Roco sa akin.

"Ewan ko ba Roco, siguro narerealize ko na ayaw ko sa mga taong nag-aassume sa bawat galaw ng tao? I've  read that in some fictions, I always end up hating the book afterwards" tawa ko sa kanya.

" you always base all your actions in books, have you assess yourself na? It's your own feelings not just some fictional feeling my friend" tingin sakin ni Roco habang nagdadrive siya papunta sa apartment ko.

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya pero it did struck me. Is that what you call feelings? Wow it's pretty new to me.