Flashback (A Road to Redemption follow up story)

Slade's Jealousy and the Break-up

CHAPTER 5: Slade's jealousy and the break-up

NOW:

"Well, I'm off!" I say, jogging into the living room.

Slade looks up from the couch, and squints at me. "You seem excited about something. Where are you off too?"

"I'm going to go meet Barry for coffee while he's in town and catch up! I told you earlier."

"Meh," Slade grunts and turns back to the TV. "So that's why." He mutters.

I squint. "What's that supposed to mean?" I walk over and stand by the coffee table, arms akimbo.

He continues to stare at the TV. "Nothing. You'll be back in time to make dinner?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, I'll be back in time to make you food."

"Have fun then." He says, but not cheerfully.

I leave and begin jogging down the steps. What's his deal? He's been acting weird lately.

Could it be...Barry? OMG, is he jealous? I laugh as I walk out the lobby. Why would Slade be jealous of Barry? Sure, I liked him in high school, but that was a long time ago...

Okay, I'm not going to lie, Barry's still cute, and I love how open and sweet he is. I always feel as if I'm getting the real him, nothing hidden. I'm always certain of how he's feeling or what he's thinking. Slade is different. He's closed, walled off, and sometimes, downright paranoid and grumpy. But I love him, I love his depth and his darkness and his strength. He acts like a rock, but in reality, he feels things more deeply than anyone I know. He is a puzzle I relish the chance to solve, I chose him, not Barry.

However, Barry will always have a special place in my heart. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything. And that means I will always have some feelings for him. Maybe, after dinner, I will talk to Slade and explain it to him, I don't want him to be upset.

***

THEN:

"You like her don't you."

Barry looks at me with a blank expression. "What?"

We are sitting in the park, where I asked him to meet me on the benches under the pavilion. I swallow. This was all easy when it'd been in my head. "You like Iris." I shake my head. "You can't deny it."

Barry stares at me, his mouth hanging open. "What? Chas...what are you...I'm......" He sputters.

"You've led me along for 9 months now!" I say, my voice quavering. "And all this time, you...you've been in love with her!" I try to steel myself. "I know it's true. All this time I should have seen it. I was just blind...I—I should have seen the way you look at her! Like she's the most perfect thing in the world." Against my will, my last words come out in a squeak.

Barry looks frantic. "Chas, calm down." He reaches for my hands and I pull them away. "Please, I can explain—"

"Well I'm just here to tell you that you can stop bothering with me now." I sob. "Because I'm getting out of the—"

Barry stands and before I know it has come around the table and wrapped me up in a hug. "Chastity stop!" He says, his voice strained with emotion. "Don't do this! Just don't! Don't say it!"

I cry into his chest for a moment. I had it all planned out with Leah. I would be strong, I would lay it out and leave. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm losing it...I'm falling apart...I just can't believe this is happening. I thought he loved me...

"Chastity," He pleads, my face still pressed against his chest. "It's true that I have a little crush on Iris...but that—"

"Little!" I screech and push him away. "I saw the way you looked at her when she was in that dress. The way you stared while she waited for Ian to come and pick her up! You were jealous! You wished you were taking her out! And I was standing right there..." I clamp a hand over my mouth.

"But that doesn't mean that I don't care about you!" Barry says, his face white.

"Your excuses mean nothing to me! I don't want to be a third wheel in your life, Barry! I wanted to be your only one..."

"Chastity, please listen to me!" He says as he grabs my shoulders. "I have always had a crush on Iris. I can't help it. But I know that she will never see me as anything more than a brother so I don't want to waste my life waiting. I care about you a lot, Chastity. I love you too. Please, you have to understand how complicated this is for me."

I stare at his eyes. He is crying too. "Please Chastity...don't..."

I try to wipe my tears. "I love you too, Barry." I say. "But I can't do this with you if you're in love with her. I understand if you can't help how you feel about her..." I sniff. "But I don't...I don't want to date you anymore."

3 months later:

"Barry called again. He wonders why he hasn't seen you around. Are you going to tell him?" Mom asks as she washes the dishes.

I sigh and look at the floor. "No."

Barry and I have been trying to be friends since we broke up. He wants for us to get back together, but he understands why I can't. If I tell him about Randall...if I so much as talk to him right now...I will cave. I will be his girl just so I can have him there to cry on. And that is not right. It's not fair to him, and it would be wrong for me.

"No?" Mom says.

"Yeah..." I grab another dish and dry it.

She presses her lips together. "Alright."

Thanks Mom. I think, and exhale in relief, glad that I don't have to try to explain myself. Mom already had a long talk with me after the break-up, and I don't want a rerun.

"Hey, thanks for dinner, Mom!" Randall says as he enters the kitchen.

"You're welcome." Mom says, turning away from the sink so she can see his face.

"Hey Chas, I'll dry those dishes. I kinda wanna talk to Mom for a minute anyway." He says with his classic smile.

I nod and give him the towel. "Okay."

He keeps the upbeat smile on his face as he watches me leave. He's so brave to smile like that when things are so bad.

Randall was diagnosed with stomach cancer last month.