14 (and 1/2) Gays, A Yellow Ford, And One Epic Road Trip

"I will not let my last words be 'Take me down to Tennessee'!"

(Minami's POV)

  We were in Vegas! Vegas! Y'know, Las Vegas, Sin City, in Nevada, which was a very dreary state in America.

  Except for here, in Vegas! The lights shone, despite broad daylight, and so did the eyes of mine and my friends.

   I was between Michele and Emil, who had basically taken me under their wings ever since I didn't qualify for the upcoming competition.
  They felt bad, we made friends, and now, it was like Viktor and Yuuri with Yurio!
  Yurio was usually rude to me, but ever since the banquet, we had grown closer as the 'children' of the group.

Except, I was older than him.

  And he just turned 16, so he didn't want to hang out with me anymore, saying he was 'too old for games'.
   How did he think I was?

13?

  That's what most people think. I didn't mind, it meant they were nicer to me and gave me more cookies and naps.
But I'm 17, almost 18!
 
Here, in America, I'm the Dancing Queen!

  Yurio is just now able to legally drive.
Loser.
I started thinking about the things I could do here in Vegas, whatever I could do, considering in America I'm not even legal age, when, super duper suddenly, the van slammed on it's breaks, jolting everyone to their seatbelt's maximum.

  Emil, who had been quietly singing along to some song on his iPod has shouted "I will not let my last words be 'Take me down to Tennessee'!" then he leaned over me to Michele, kissing him before returning to his own seat, apparently content with his actions as Michele leaned back into his seat, blushing profusely and covering his face.

"Got it!" Phichit shouted to Em, quickly typing on his phone, most likely uploading whatever picture he had taken to Instagram, Chris high fiving him, not even taking his eyes off the road or Phichit's off his phone. My phone ding!ed. Must be the picture Phicheeto uploaded I thought. Sure enough, it was.

   They were really cute, but it made me kinda sad.
Everyone in this group had someone. Emil had Michele, Viktor had Yuuri, Yurio had Otabek, Phichit had Seung-Gil, Mila had Sara, Leo had Guang-Hong, Chris had his boyfriend, who we haven't seen since that one time he came on the ice, because he was to embarrassed/amused that he just cheered him on from their home, and Georgi had his own sadness.

  But me? I didn't have someone to love, to care for, to be able to be proud of on a personal level. And I didn't have any hope for finding anyone either.
   The only person I knew even knew that was close to my age was JJ, and even I don't have a shot at that. I was happy for my friends, I really was. They mean the world to me.
   But I know that all their parental statuses over me just meant that they had someone to do that with, that I was still seen as a child, still seen as the thing I used to be, not even too long ago.

   The me that obsessed over Yuuri, the one with the posters of all the people that are now my best friends, the one that was seen as nothing as a cheerleader. But I'm more than that now, and I was more than that then. I will prove it to them.

  I love how much they love me, I love the attention, I've always loved the spotlight, but sometimes you need some time to build up the confidence to go out there, to thrive in the bright light. I can't even remember when I had that time to myself.

  So until I do, until I'm not just their cheerleader, until I'm their equal, I guess I'll just keep smiling through. I guess I'll keep laughing. I guess I'll keep singing. I guess I'll keep pretending. I guess I won't forget what I learned in acting class, which seems like an eternity ago, a small stain in the chaos of Japan, learning to keep it within me, to make everyone else happy, to make sure I'm the last priority, because I am.

    I don't have anyone, so I don't need to be anyone. Maybe I will just keep being their cheerleader. I know they need it, their confidence drops lower everyday, the pressure, the determination, while one increases, the other decreases. 

I looked out my window, seeing our car nearing our hotel, bright and unique, just like my friends.
  
   I will keep smiling, and laughing, and being happy, and being their cheerleader. Because, in the end, it's better to be appreciated for that small part of you than being ignored for all of you.

I don't know where you're going,
But do you got room for one more
Troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going, but I don't think I'm coming home.
I said "I'll check in tomorrow, if I don't wake up dead."
This is the road to ruins,
And we're starting at the end.
Singing,
"Let's be alone together! We can stay young forever!"
Screaming from the top of your lungs, your lungs,
Singing,
"Let's be alone together, we can stay young forever!"

A/N lol my attempt at angst