Won't take the time // c.d little sister (h.g)

12

*edited*

2 weeks later...

i dont know why im pushing everyone away. it wasnt fair of me. me and hayes had spent all day together after the whole situation but since then i just stayed in my room. i was fine but somthing just clicked and everything sunk in.

i coudnt bare seeing them, i knew they blamed them selfs no matter how many times i told them it wasnt there fault.

i mean they went to a meeting and left me at home, none of us would have ever expected this to happen.

they dont think i noticed but they slowly are cutting back from social media to be home and stay with me. i felt like a bother and i wanst making it any better by staying in my room.

they have all tried getting me outside or to atleast go downstairs but it was no use. i had no motivation to get out of bed.

there was a kock on the door but i didnt respond hoping who ever it was would think im sleeping. but cameron came threw the door with a slice of pizza.

he had been coming up and bring me food then staying to watch me eat it. they where all  worried i wasnt eating and barly getting out of bed. cameron sat down on my bed handing me the plate of pizza and spoke up.

"so what do you think about going to a tharapy session?"

what?

—

it was now 9 pm and i was in the car driving back home with cameron. he had convinced me to go to a session with his tharapist he sees for his anxiety and it wasnt as bad as i had felt.

he waited outside for an hour as i had my session. it did feel better to be out of my room... i felt alot better talking to someone who understood where i was comming from, and didn't try to push me to get back at him. she understood i wanted it to be over with.

and since she couldn't tell cameron anything i said, i was able to confess everything to her. it felt better because i knew if i had told cameron everything it would just brake him.

but i was able to talk about my depression before everything happened, about my mom and her death. and i was able to tell her all the things he called me and how i got every scare from him that day.

i let everything out and i don't think i have ever cried that much. cameron was actually scared i was gonna pass out on the car ride home because i was crying so much.
"ari are you sure your okay, i'm sorry if you didn't like it, i didn't mean to pressure you into going"
cameron asked with concern
"no no cameron im sorry if im like scaring you."
i let out a little laugh and wiped away some tears
"it just felt so good to get everything off my chest, it was just really hard to re live everything, ya know?

"yeah.. i know" he save me a little smile and looked back at the road

we drove back in silance and soon pulled into the parking garage. i turned to cameron as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"hey, cameron im sorry iv been so distant. i just needed some time but thank you, i feel alot better already" i gave him a slight smile.

we got out of the car and he slung his arm over my sholders as we walked into the elavator. he gave me a side hug and looked down at me.

"im glad your feeling more yourself"
we walked into the aparmnt and hayes and nash where watching a movie in the living room. i make eye contact with nash and he gives me a small smile. i return it and sit down next to him. his smile grows and we all watch the movie together. it felt grate to get my mind off everything. i sat there snuggled up to my best friends and slowly feel asleep on camerons sholder.