Never Let Go-Sirius Black love story-

7- Friends... Again?

Abruptly, me and Sirius pull away and I realize that I was about to actually *kiss* Sirius Black. What the deuces?! Me and Sirius?! Never going to happen!

We both let go of each other and look down the corridor. Remus stands there, a horror-struck expression plastered over his face, making his scar look extra whiter."It's not what it looks like!" Me and Sirius say in unison. I glare up at Sirius as he stares down Remus.

Remus, who's a good ten feet away, shakes his head. "I-I-" he begins, but he stops. He swallows hard and as I run to him, he holds up his hand and signals for me to stop.

He sighs deeply, and he seems to be in a lot of pain. His eyes show me true pain, and I have no idea why. But I know that it's my fault, and I need to fix it. "Remus-"

"I've got to go."Is all he says as he turns, leaving me alone with Sirius again. But I won't let him walk away-- not again."Remus!" I cry out, dashing towards him. I feel someone strong grab my forearm, and as much as I try to pull away, I just can't.

Remus has gone, and I feel so confused. I finally yank my arm away from Sirius."Leave me alone, Black!" I yell, pushing past him and running up the corridor and to the west wing. I don't even plan on showing up to the Prefect meeting; seeing Galen and Remus there will just hurt.

By why did Remus react like that? Maybe it's because me and Black are 'sworn enemies', and he was surprised? Or maybe because he's just moody. Either way, it didn't hurt any less. I need to fix it. That's my first priority.

--

I know for sure that Remus was ignoring me. Every time I looked at him, he didn't even glance in my general direction. Every attempt to make a conversation would go south for the winter; he tuned me out.

Lily tried to keep my spirits up, but as much as I love her, I needed my best guy friend. Remus had been there for me every time I needed him. He came to my house when I needed help with my mum. He was my best friend, and it hurts me when he's hurt.

Time flew by really fast. In a couple of days would be Christmas, and my stomach was in knots. Remus wasn't coming home with me-- the first time ever. He always came home with me. My mum loved him like her own.

Lily couldn't come; she was going to spend the holidays with her parents and sister. Rory and Kendal were hanging out with each other. It's times like this when I wished I had more friends. Maybe being a Hufflepuff is better; you've got friends where ever you turn. Us Ravenclaws are smart, not so much sociable.

"Hey," Lily said, sitting down on the bench beside me. I smiled faintly at her. We were sitting at a bench near Black Lake, watching some idiot Gryffindors try to ice-skate on the lake."Hello."I respond, rubbing my hands together.

They were still cold, even with the mitts on. I heard her sigh."This isn't healthy, Rowan. I understand that he's your best friend, but so am I. I've talked to him-"

"Did he tell you why he's been ignoring me? I didn't do anything to him, and he ignores me. Am I a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Did-"

"Rowan, shut up!"Lily interrupted. I was silenced, and she said,"Look, I've tried telling you this subtly, but I'm going straight to blunt; Remus likes you. There, secret out."

I stare at her in shock. Remus likes me? Me?! His best friend of five years? I suddenly laugh, making Lily look at me funny. I'm laughing like I've never laughed before, and all because of her joke. Ha!

"What's funny?"She asks, quirking an eyebrow. "Remus-me- ha!" I choke out. Lots of people around us look at us weirdly, until a certain group comes onto the grounds. My laughter stops suddenly, and I direct my gaze to the ground. From what I saw, Remus looked really happy, and I had nothing to do with it.

I feel Lily rub my back consolingly."Look, he may look really happy, but he's not. He's just as torn as you are." I flinch away from her."If he was, I'd have my best friend! Now, excuse me, but I'm a grown up, and I'm going to talk to him even if I have to stupefy him!" I toss my bag over my shoulder and clutch my wand in my hand.

I stomp off angrily, leaving Lily in shock. Wait, when did I grow a backbone? Why am I going to confront Remus?

But my mind had no say in the matter. My body was doing everything, controlling my every movement. Just as I reach the little Marauders group, their laughter dies.

Peter looks absolutely terrified, James looks shocked, Sirius looks a little worried, and before I get a good look on Remus's face, I'm tugging him away from his little group and up to the castle. Remus doesn't say a word, but his friends yell after him.

Once we get to a more secluded part of the castle, I stop."What's the matter with you?" I yell, looking Remus square in the face. Remus looks down, not making eye contact. "Look at me!" I command. He doesn't. I bite my lower lip and put my hands on my hips."So this is it? This is how a friendship dies-- over a misunderstanding? What, you told your friends not to like me-like me? Well Sirius doesn't! We don't like each other!"

Remus looks up finally, and that's when I feel the bridge of my eyes start to wear down, letting water cloud my vision. But I don't cry."If you're going to stop talking to me over the likes of him..." I trail off. What am I going to say next? I haven't talked to him in over a month. A long, exhausting month.

I fling myself at him, hugging him with all of my might. This is when I break down."P-please, just don't hate me! You-you're my best friend!" I wail.

Remus responds by wrapping his arms around me and rubbing my back affectionately, trying to calm me down."Because since I don't have you anymore, I've got no one. Lily's my best friend too, but you're more special to me, Remmy! You are!"

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his hot breath tickling my neck. I sniffle."You should be," is all I say. It's his turn to talk. Remus turns us around and to a bench, and instead of his head in my lap, it's the other way around.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that I was causing you so much pain." I nod."I'm going through things, and seeing my best friend's hands over my girl best friend, I got really, really mad. I've told Sirius not to touch you."

"But you still talked to him. You didn't ignore him." I say, but Remus shushes me."I did for a while, just to get my head straight."

"You hurt me. Probably worse than anyone," I murmur quietly, staring at the wall ahead of us."And it hurts to know that I did. I didn't know that I was causing you so much pain."I sit up, startling Remus just a bit.

"You should've know. When you ran away from me, I could feel your hurt. I felt like crying when you did, Remmy. Crying. And yet you can't feel me?" I turn away from him and sit up, crossing my legs.

Remus sighs and drapes his arm over my shoulders like he used to when we watched muggle movies. "I... Listen, I think it's time for you to know why I did 't talk to you for a while."

"It'd better be good," I muttered sharply. Remus nods, playing with the ends of my hair."Rowan... Promise you won't tell."

"Like I would bloody tell-"

"Okay," Remus says lightly."I get the point. But Rowan, I'm sort of a werewolf,"

---

And the truth comes out! Well, part of it anyways.