She Doesn't Know

1.

Charlotte POV

Most people in my position would think today was a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this is normal. Mrs Cartwright has her hands firmly on my shoulders and sighs with a combined expression of fear and sadness, considering that this may be the last time she sees me which will either mean i'll be on the streets, or ill be making it.

"Good luck Charlotte, I believe in you. You've been so strong and brave your whole life and I know one day you'll find a family." Her eyes are beginning to water and my bottom lip puckers slightly.

"Thank you for everything Mrs Cartwright. Keep in touch somehow yeah?"

"Please, Call me Samantha." She reassures.

I look up at my only guardian for one more time. "Goodbye Samantha."

I hop into the back of a black Subaru outside of the DOCS building located in Sydney and wave to Samantha. The engine starts and i stretch my arm across and slide my 'Crywank' album into the disc player.

Yes, There is a band called Crywank. My favourite band. And yes, CD's are still a thing. I've never had a phone. I don't own much, being constantly moved around and all. I have my prized possessions. A bunch of CD's I've collected over the years, a very damaged pair of shitty K-mart earphones, a walkman. Yes, walkman, A very big and ripped hoodie that i've had for 6 years, a few band tee shirts that i've managed to source out myself and my very own guitar, my longest friend.

Oh and a piece of paper with my first name on it. Yeah thats the only thing my parents left me with when they decided, 'hey lets get knocked up but then chuck the kid in a crate with some newspaper and the only information we will give is her first name. who needs identity it's fine?'

Sorry... can you tell i'm salty? pfft nahhh.

Hours pass. Feeling like days. The anxiety I feel right now is overwhelming. I didn't really think anything of this until now. This could very well be my last chance at getting a taste of family. I know I can make my own on day but if i ever did I would have no idea what I am doing considering the way I've grown up. I've spent the first hour of this drive daydreaming, glaring at trees and highways and big rock walls, my eyes trailing the white painted lines on the road, trying to figure out where i'm going to go from here. driving through the city again not knowing if i'd see it in a long time felt weird, in a kinda comforting way. I realised that this may well be my last foster home and as we left towns and drove onto the highway, that fear turned into my final shred of hope as my eyes turned to see nothing but long roads ahead. And that, thats exactly what the future is... long roads ahead but we don't know where we are going or where the turns will be or how many accidents we'll have or even how many red and green lights we will get from society or if we have the gas to get us through. It's like that old song, life really is a highway.

"Excuse me?" I ask the driver, realising that the CD finished over an hour ago and we've been listening to the radio. "Yes?" He asks, sounding surprised that I spoke. Oh yeah warning: I am very quiet. Because I'm shy? sort of, but mostly because my life has never had any stable social structure. I hope my brother and sister like me.

"I've lost track of time, how much longer until we are there?" I feel my palms begin to sweat as I realise theres no turning back and my new family could be waiting for me.

He looks down at the car radio clock says, "We still have just under one more hour of driving before you see your new home, you excited?" He's trying to start conversation with me and i'm feeling both pleased and shy. "Well, to be honest, I'm really shy and no family has ever been able to keep me very long."

He glances at me through the rear view mirror and back to the road. "Well kid, I sincerely wish you the best of luck. My parents died when I was 4, I was passed around 3 different foster homes and when I was 9, a lovely family adopted me. I wish the same for you."