master future

6- Did I Do It For Nothing?

* 
   I'm out on the field, surrounded my enemies and my friends with little to no ways of telling the difference between them. I have my arm extended out to my right holding my gun, more than ready to shoot. I did, several times to thin out this crowd. As all the nameless bodies began to pile up, something happened. It was as if I was experiencing my regular life as a soldier but slower. My sight was fogging up to be a fuzzy mess, but I didn't lose it.

Tick... ..tick... 'Rex!'
'Rex!'

'Rex! Watch out! ..tick....
'A bomb, REX! It's a bomb!'

Tick.. tick

     The horrible memories of that day still remain, I know could've done something about it; I didn't. I still hate myself for it, he was my friend, I needed him. No matter what Lexo or Andrei might say I won't get over it. Now I don't even know what I'm doing with myself these days, am I just doing this for nothing? I collapse to the ground as the thoughts that started as a soft flow turned into a raging flood "Gin! No!" I shouted as my grip on reality came loose. I felt a strong grip on my shoulders pull me up "get up!" She demanded whilst helping me, the way she tried helping people was strange; she would give you a shoulder to cry on and call you an idiot later for doing it.

     This sucked but she couldn't help it, it was just her way of handling things. I stood up and she immediately pulled me back into IB and opened her office door (something I was very jealous of her having). I immediately sat down in one of the chairs that were placed against the wall across from her desk. I already knew what she was gonna say "I'm sorry" I blurted out before she got a chance to speak "please don't interrupt me" She replied sternly and hardly paying attention to what I even said. "So why didn't you take your medication?" She said crossing her legs.

     The woman sitting before me was Andrei Mindei, she is one of the commanders of this area. She had hair that was dyed gray and was kept up by some rubber bands, she was much taller than me (not that impressive because I'm very short for a mine of my time) about 5'8, see had olive skin and usually wore a pair of jeans and a wife beater. She was gorgeous, but any man that knew her knew not to be stupid enough to even think about fooling around with her. She was all business and no play, she was a woman of power and one that shouldn't be messed with. Unless you were a childhood friend of hers, which is pretty hard to come by.

    "I'm sorry, I forgot to." I looked down preparing myself to be shamed "you have got to stop doing that, you know this Rex. It's affecting your work and will get you killed if you keep doing it." She said whilst getting up from her chair to hand me the dose I missed. "Thank you, ma'am." I said swallowing them with some water that she handed it to me in a cup. I'm feeling better but the thoughts still remain, he gave his life for me and I'm sitting whining about it when I should be working hard to contribute to the team. This all got me thinking 'did he do it for nothing?'