Him and I (EDITING/REWRITING)

Boys are Stupid.

Is it weird that when I wake up in the morning that the only thought in my head is about you? I mean, you're basically everything I think about. There hasn't been a moment where my mind has stopped thinking about you. Like sometimes I'll be thinking about how you'll respond to my outfits. So I try my hardest every day to make a pretty cute outfit just to see you smile and tease me. 

I don't know if this means that I'm madly in love with you but maybe it does mean that. I don't know for sure, but this feeling is sort of nice. I mean if I'm going to fall for you then I'm going to fall for you with all of might. Because even if everyone knows that I'm crushing on you, I just sort of hope that you'll never find out though. But I somewhat also at the same time hope that you'll find out and think of me differently.

I'm confused how you can't even figure out that I like you. I mean wouldn't me asking you if I look good be a sign? Or maybe that I'm dressing up so nicely not for some other guy but for you? But then again you're a guy and guys don't think about this stuff as much as girls do. Maybe you do and maybe you don't.

I don't know; boys are just stupid.

Ugh sometimes I wish you just knew what I was thinking! Then I wouldn't have to make such a fool out of myself every single blasted day! Please just figure it out soon so that way you can sweep me off my feet and propose your love for me already.

I've been waiting for over NINE years already Gavin.

But maybe it's a good thing that you don't know about these feelings because you probably be in shock. No, I know you would be in shock. I mean, the moment you find out that I've liked you since we met each other 10 years ago. Yeah, when we were five, you were adorable and I just couldn't help myself to like you. Alright that's a lie, it wasn't when we were five, it was probably 3 years later when I realized that you were sort of not icky anymore but a bit cute? 

You know, sometimes I look over our photo albums and smile because we were such cuties back then. Hey Gavin, remember that time when we where probably five years old and my mom and your mom decided it would be cute to take a picture of us when we took a bath together. You were awkwardly smiling at the camera with your toothy grin and I was just laughing while splashing water at you.  

Sometimes I remind you of that moment and your face gets so red and you ask me why on earth I would even remind you of it. I just laugh and say how I can't help it. The truth is because I can't help it that you're so cute and adorable and sometimes I just want you by my side always.  

Gah, it's really annoying how you stole my heart. Why don't you just throw an arrow to my heart and end this torture already because Gavin, I've fallen and I've fallen pretty hard for you.