Me, You and the Universe

Chapter 1

A quiet time so I need a quiet place to relax my mind. This week is hell, kailangan ko maghanap ng tahimik na lugar.

Hmm, what about the garden in school, kaunti lang ang taong nandun at mostly couple ang pumupunta dun para magharutan. Wala rin naman akong paki sa kanila kahit mag-sex sila sa harap ko, I don't care.

Naglakad na ako sa hallway papuntang Garden and everyone is looking at me. Palagi silang ganyan everytime na dadaan ako, feeling ko tuloy may kung anong nakadikit sa mukha o katawan ko. Wala namang akong ginagawa sa kanila na masama. Kaya naglakad na lang ako ng mabilis at dumeretso na sa Garden.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko sa hardin ng paaralan ay may couples na agad ako na nasalubong. They're hugging each other na parang wala ng bukas and the other couple are kissing. Napakasakit sa mata, garden 'to pero ginagawa nilang motel. I'm so ashamed.

Anyway, I just ignored them at naghanap ng perfect spot where I can see the field where varsities are playing. I really want to join sports but my mom won't allow me because she said I need to rest. Masyado na daw akong madaming sinasalihan pati ba naman daw varsity, wala na daw akong time sa family. Always school, school, school and school. School because I have goals. I need to study for myself and for my family. I don't want to disappoint them.

I let out a heavy sigh and get my Sad girls book by Lang Leav. I really love Lang Leav books, it makes me feel calm and relax. It makes me feel like I'm in the universe. Masyadong malawak pero kahit napakalaki o lawak niya sa iisang mundo ka pa rin mananatili dahil doon ka nararapat. Doon at doon ka babagsak.

Damn, I love the smell of the book and I love how Lang leav expressed her feelings through Poetry. I love her, I really really love her.

"Jane!" biglang tawag sa akin kaya napalingon ako sa paligid at nakita ko si Kiara na kumakaway sa akin kaya kinawayan ko rin. She run to my direction with a smile on her face. Pagkarating niya sa pwesto ay naupo agad siya sa tabi ko. Hinihingal pa siya kaya hinayaan ko muna.

"Don't forget to attend my birthday party ha?" she said at humingang malalim.

"Oo naman, you're turning 20 right?" tanong niya and she nodded.

"I'm no teen, anymore." aniya at nag-pout.

"You're still a teen, twen-teen" sabi ko at tumawa naman kaming dalawa.

"Hay nako, ewan ko sa'yo. Bakit ka nandito?" aniya at tumingin sa field. Napatango naman siya at tumingin ulit sa akin. "Wishing that you're playing in the field?" she said and smile.

I nodded. "Yes and to refresh my mind. Hell week is legit, after this week magc-club ako."

"Magwa-walwal ka na naman."

Even though I'm busy in school, I also need a break from everything. I'm no saint. Alam ko rin yung mga bagay na ganun.

"I need to take a break"

"Tapos uuwi ka na namang lasing and magpapasundo sa akin and magddrama ka about your ex boyfriend."

"I don't love him anymore."

I also have an ex-boyfriend. I know how to love but now, I'm afraid to love. Ayoko ng sumugal. He's my first love and first boyfriend, I thought he's the one but then I broke up with him because he's not happy anymore.

Alam niyo yung feeling na kayo pero parang hindi na kayo. He's busy "daw" but always talking to other girls, sinasabi niya friend niya lang yun but what the hell? Nung nagalit ako, galit din siya pero nung nagalit yung babaeng "kaibigan" niya lang daw ay todo suyo siya. And guess what? Sila na ngayon. That's bullshit. I'm not bitter or what, nakakainis lang diba. Kayo nga pero parang may iba siya?