Maybe it's enough - Phan (Completed)

Stay With Me

Hello, so I've updated a lot of my stuff on this site and deleted stuff and yeah. I hope it looks better now as I didn't really care what anything looked like on here but now that it looks better and I'm proud of everything it might actually motivate me to update regularly and write well. Anyway, enjoy this part! Ps, I'm now writing a little different in this and I have the other part up because I can't remember what I wrote.

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Phil's POV

We arrive at the library five minutes later, and Dan sits down on the table I usually spend my lunchtimes at. I frown slightly as he perches there, before dropping my head to watch my feet as I sit down in my usual seat. The tension between us is almost tangible, and I can feel the brown haired's eyes bearing down at me, making me feel more uneasy than I wished was necessary.

"So..?" Dan began, obviously trying to break the awkward silence that was forming in the atmosphere. I looked up at him, to see his hands resting against the edge of the table, his legs dangling off the end and his eyes bearing into mine. I gulped slightly, removing my eyes from his, a small blush creeping up to my cheeks.

"Why did you say the stuff you said yesterday?" I asked quietly, tugging on my sleeves and looking down towards my rucksack, as if I was ready to leave when needed. I heard Dan sigh and shift his weight on the table, slipping down so his feet were touching the floor and he was using the table to lean against.

"Heat of the moment I guess. I wanted to make a good impression on everyone. So they know what I can be like. And the teacher gave me a good opportunity." He shrugged as if it meant nothing, however as I looked back up to him his face was turned away from mine and towards the entrance to the library.

"And you thought /that/ was a good impression?" I laughed slightly, anger seizing through me. "You don't know how crap I felt." I added in a whisper, my anger turning into a hatred on myself as it always did, even if there was no apparent reason for it to do so. However, I didn't want to carry on this talk, so I stood up quickly, scooping my rucksack up on the way and walked briskly out of the library, leaving Dan behind me.

I shuffled with my head low to the males wash room, walking into one of the cubicles and locking the door. I sighed, resting my weight against the metal door before dropping my bag, turning and sitting on the lid of the toilet. I gave myself time to run over the past ten minutes in my head, as I rolled the sleeves of my jumper up slowly, revealing hundreds of cuts and scars. These weren't baby scars; the kind you'd get if you fell over into a thorn bush or fell into a metal railing at the park, these were gashes digging into my flesh, making dents and hills littering my lower arm, each telling a different story as to how I got them. I looked down at the mess of myself, and this is when I let the tears fall. Dan had made me feel a lot more than crap. Worthless. Stupid. Waste of space. And he doesn't know how much those pathetic little words do to me. And he never will.

The bell rang minutes later, and I decided against going to lesson. Instead, I rolled my sleeves down, pushed my rucksack onto my back and left the bathroom, rubbing at my eyes to get rid of the tears that weren't leaving. I headed back to the library, knowing that Dan would've gone to his lesson by now, and that I was safe in there for 100 minutes. Because that's how long each lesson is in our school. Three, one hundred minute lessons everyday for five days a week. And revision lessons on Saturday if need be. I wandered to the back of the library, taking a seat in my place and grabbing my sketchbook out of my bag, before taking the last Bleach comic from the shelf behind me, exactly where I had left it yesterday. I opened to the page I was working from, and took out a black fineliner, beginning to go around my work slowly and carefully.

This was when the library door opened. And the familiar sound of yelling and cursing came.

Daniel.

He huffed, and just by the muffled footsteps that echoed slightly over to me I could tell he had been sent out. It was a little pathetic really; how one kid could get in such trouble and because he caused it himself. Never have I understood the fascination of wanting to get told off and lectured by teachers, as well as missing out on lesson. Even though that is what I am doing right now.

"Do you mind keeping it down?" I muttered softly to myself, it being aimed at Dan but not loud enough so he could actually hear me.

The muffled footsteps got louder, and I could feel Dan's presence as he loomed over me, staring at my sketches. I took my book and closed it, bringing it to my chest before looking up at him, his eyes wider than usual.

"Why did you leave me?" He asked quietly, and I was taken back at how fragile he looked there and then. I shrugged, my eyes locking with his. "You've been crying." He mumbled, this time, taking the chair from under the desk and sitting on it lazily, not bothering to correct his posture.

I shook my head at his statement, dropping my head as my heart thudded. "Don't lie to me Philip!" He almost yelled, and I flinched away, it being usual for me to receive a hit or kick when being yelled at.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, although for once it wasn't me in the wrong, but him. Dan sighed once more standing and staring at me.

"I can leave if you like?"

"No. Stay."

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Sorry it's short, will update soon. If I don't I give you permission to shoot me.

Mitzu.

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