Tha Produca x Shady Jeff
Jeff's POV
I woke up to an unfamiliar room.
Must've slept with some random chick last night.
I quickly got out of the foreign bed and gathered up all my clothes, slipping them on.
I grabbed my phone and put my shoes on, slipping out through the front door.
I made my way to my car, getting in.
I turned it on and made my way down the road.
As I drove my phone started ringing.
I answered it, annoyance in my tone.
"hello?"
"Jeff Philips?"
"yeah?... "
"you're on the list as one of Aron Erlichman's emergency contacts. We're sorry to inform you but......he's been found dead. Committed suicide the poor thing "
Everything around me seemed to stop.
I dropped my phone, my car practically coming to a halt in the middle of the road.
I was snapped back to reality by cars honking so I started driving again.
I could feel myself shaking.
He was dead and it was my fault.
I'd broke him.
I'd pushed him away to the point that he killed himself.
I'd become a monster.
Why didn't he leave me?
Why would he stay in such a toxic relationship?
...why did I treat him like that?....
I drove back to our shared apartment, quickly rushing in to find paramedics and police officers everywhere.
"here, I believe you should read this since it's addressed to you " one of the officers said, handing me an envelope with my name written on it.
There were a few blood stained fingerprints on it.
I opened the envelope as well as the note.
" dear Jeff,
I know by the time you read this I'll be gone. Maybe you won't even read it. Even if you don't I still want you to none that I love you. I love you even after everything you've done to me. Yes, it hurt to know I meant nothing yo you anymore. I wish I didn't have to leave. I wish we could be happy again, I wish you would actually mean the 'i love you's' you'd tell me. I wish you did still love me. Maybe once we're reunited in death you'll love me again. Maybe not. Only time will tell. For now, I love you Jeff Phillips....No matter how many bruises and scars you leave on my skin.
Love, Aron "
He still loved me?
Even after everything I've done to him.
I feel so horrible now.
I know I can't fix any of this, I know I can't bring him back and make it up to him.
I wish I could go back in time, to back when I didn't treat him like shit.
I want to stop any of this from happening.
I just want to hold him again, tell him I love him because I mean it.
I can't fix any of this though.
I never will be able to.
God, I messed up so badly.
I don't even deserve to live anymore.
I won't.
I'll leave this place and make it up to him in the afterlife.
I regret every lie I've ever told him, every bruise or scar I've ever caused.
I regret everything because you don't really know what you have until you lose it.
I had an amazing, loving boyfriend who I took for granted and broke.
It's my fault he's gone.
I ruined his life and I can never fix it.
~
I stood with a handful of pills.
I was gonna join him.
I had to.
I have to make all of this up to him.
I swallowed the pills, taking a long gulp of water.
Soon, i'll join him once more.
"...I'm so sorry, Aron......for everything.... " I murmured, sitting against the cabinets.
I sat in silence, waiting for the numb feeling of death to take over.
Eventually it did and I backed out, reuniting with the man who deserved better than me.
Maybe I can finally treat him how he should be treated.
How I used to treat him.
