gangster; kth

#5: Jealousy 😒

" Did you just gasp? " Taehyung smirked.

" No, I laughed. " I answered in sarcasm as I rolled my eyes and folded my arms.

fifteen minutes to dismissal, and I have a lot to explain to my friends, I guess.

" Pfft, jeez, I don't need you to answer in sarcasm. " he laid his head on the table and looked outside the window next to him.

On the other side, both of my friends stared at me in shock.

" I know, I'll have to explai--" I whispered when Joanne cut me off, " S'okay, he does that to every new girl. After a week or so, he'll leave them be.." she whispered back with a smile.

" Alright then. "

it's possible for me to avoid him for 5 days, including today.

--

" Detention is over, have you learnt your lesson, or at least reflected on it?" A teacher barged into the silent room.

" Yes. "

detention..? what a suffer.

" Let's go, Joanne and Jasi--"

" Heyoo, wait up! You're not going anywhere, newbie. You and your friends, move. " he walked in between us and grabbed my arm, " You guys can hang out when I'm done. But not today so, head home because I said so." Taehyung walked away as I tried to loosen his grip, once again. My friends left me, because they can't really do anything, which upsets me because I wanted a new start this year.

"if only they knew what was going on in my head."

" What is wrong with you? I told you clearly earlier this morning outside the hall to not ever bother me again, right?! Don't talk to me again, or ever approach me from now on. " I pulled his hand away from my arm and stomped away.

" That girl, she's so stubborn, so difficult, so annoying and.. "

" ..somehow so pretty inside out. "

--

" Joanne! Jasie! I'm here!! " I ran to them with a bright smile appearing on my face.

" Sorry to leave you like that because he'll probably do something mean to us. He's a gangster after all.." they smiled apologetically and scratched their head.

"Anyway, let's go! "

i knew doesn't sound right, I had a feeling they were jealous or something... they don't really speak to me comfortably and I can tell that their reputation is more important than friends for them.

" I know you're a new girl, but I suggest you stay away from Taehyung. He's very bad and mean, you see," they adviced me.

a minute ago, they told me that Taehyung is their crush. now they're talking behind Taehyung's back?

" Joanne.. Jasie... " I grinned, " Are you guys jealous..? "

" WHAT?! NO! " Joanne raised her voice.

" Pretty obvious, admit it gosh! " I laughed.

" Fine, I am. J-Just stay away from him, it's k-kinda painful in here." she pointed at her heart.

" Hahahaha, alright! "

new year, an 'okay' start.

--

" Hey, hyung. Where is that new girl? " Jungkook, that was lying on the couch, like a couch potato.

" Man, she's difficult. " Taehyung threw his tired body on the couch opposite Jungkook.

" Knew it, hyung. I can tell it by her attitude in school. The 'play hard to get' girl. " he sighed, " Just find another one. "

" Never..! I'm not weak. It'll also be the first time ever to give up on a girl. That'll just ruin my reputation as a gangster. " Taehyung stubbornly said.

" Since you say so, I'll just follow whatever you say. "

--

Today wasn't bad. New friends, new things and all..

But to solve things up,

that gangster,

I can assure myself that he wont be leaving me alone, like how I didn't for that nerd geek.

This is difficult. How exactly do I avoid him easily?

" What's up, sis? You're daydreaming. Is something wrong? " my brother asked as he took a spoon of mac and cheese into his mouth.

" Have you heard of Taehyung? "

" Oh! That gangster-wannabe* ,yes. What's up with him? Did he hurt you or anything? "

he will find out and start threatening me anyway, even if I told my brother.

" I just think he's just wasting his school year on something less productive in life, I guess. "

..and which was a little true at the same time as I was avoiding the question.

" Just leave that kid alone. He's just enjoying life just like you were before this. " he sighed.

my mood went really down, in fact...

" Seung-gyo, stop it.. I told you to stop comparing me to a gangster or at least remind me of that ugly past of me being one..! I told you that I don't want to ever think of actions I did last time at all!" I raised my voice with anger.

" Sis! How dare you call me with my name. Where's your respect..?! " he stood up with force, that caused the chair to screech loudly. He bang his fists on the dining table with anger, " I know I'm wrong to remind you of the past, but manage your anger towards me, alright..??" he walked off into his room and closed the door.

It was indeed a bad day for me.

One, I'm not sure if my friends were truthful to me. Two, Taehyung kept reminding me of my past. Three, I made my brother, who was the one and only person who takes care of me, angry.

" Have I changed into the 'good' or have I changed into someone even worse? " I mumbled.

do I have the right to ask myself that question? Or should I just move on like nothing hurts.

New life and all, that's easy to say in words. But the past will always remind you of someone or something in the future, feeling that you actually never changed, or is still in the past.

Because.. The past still exists in your head. It happened in your life at least once, right?

I was all emotional, but I just took this time to reflect, better than to just keep it in my head..

....and maybe to disconvince myself from going haywire in the future ahead of me. By haywire I mean, doing something stupid.

**

" When will you EVER change?! " my mother slapped me.

" NO! I WILL NEVER!! I have my friends and they are happiness to me. We create trouble together, I ENJOY it. But you.. you never did anything for me. I HOPE YOU DISAPPEAR, MAMA!!"

And she did. She disappeared. I was eliminated from school and had to stay home with my brother and my aunt, that is now paying my school fees.

**

" A gangster can mean anything.. A lot of things. "

<Edited, 180602>
**wannabe = a "want to be" gangster or someone.