gangster; kth

#8: True Self

We all walked towards the fast food restaurant while sharing our secrets to each other. The secrets weren't very deep because I just met them a few days ago.

"Our parents died in a car crash. I cried and prayed everyday for them. I still do now, but not everyday." I looked down, as they looked at me with such sympathy.

"I have this one question that's been bothering me for the past few days." I looked up to them.

"And what will that be?" They stopped walking for a second and looked at me seriously.

"A-Aren't you guys a 'gangster'? Why are you guys so kind to me? I always wondered why.."

"I don't know, I guess our senses just signifies us, HAHA. Any questions or unsure about something, just don't be afraid to say or ask it out. " Taehyung smiled as we continued walking.

" There's still load of questions in my head that are unexplainable." I smiled.

" Don't stress out on that! Slowly, while you're with us, questions in your head will disappear at any point. You'll know us well anyway."

But still, why me?

" We're here. We can just take-away and leave. "

---

" Eating in a car is wayy better than eating in that noisy fast food restaurant. We get peace here, yeah? " Hoseok mumbled as he took a bite of his burger.

" By the way, your brother..Does he know about us? " Namjoon asked.

" Wait..! SPEAKING OF MY BROTHER, I JUST REALISED THAT HE WILL BE WAITING FOR ME AFTER SCHO--" I took a moment, " No way, I just ditched him.. "

" Are you serious? So he doesn't know about us and all?? " Jungkook asked as he was shook.

" Y-Yea. "

" Quickly finish up your food, we'll head to your home. Sneak in if possible. "

--

"We are here..Just g-go..! My brother doesn't really like the idea of me ditching him.. " I left the car and ran into the apartment building.

" Her brother must've been fierce to her still. " Taehyung mumbled.

--

" Seung-gyo.. I'm sorry I left you alone earlier on today.. I totally forgot.. " I apologized as he looked down at me," I waited for 1 hour , or even more. How exactly can I forgive you so easily?? "

" I'm really sorry, really, really..! I'm not even kidding, it's real this time..!"

" I don't need you to apologize, I need you to reflect. Before so, where did you go earlier on today? I didn't see you in class. " he asked me.

what do i say now..? do i lie? do i tell the truth? do i tell both at the same time, so that i would be half correct?

" W-What..? I left the classroom.. "

that's one truth,

" ...and I left to the washroom, which appears to be quite further from my classroom as expected. "

that's a lie.

does it come together?

" How did you forget about me? " he asked a threatening question.

is he really that curious...

" I went out with my friends.."

that's another truth,

" ..and i forgot you."

that's a truth too.

"Who are your friends..? " he asked again that makes my heart start to pound harder than usual.

shit, do i tell him that they're boys..?

" I went out as usual, my girlfriends..!" I laughed.

" Who? "

do i seriously have to answer this?  i don't think im friends with them anymore at this very moment.

can someone help me..?

" I have to head downstairs. I can't believe you kept asking me on things, when it's not even as important. " I huffed and stomped my legs, off to leave the apartment.

I know I lied, but is it hard to believe me like this? If all the lies I told him was the truth one day, will he act like this again? Will he trust me? I know I have no right to be angry at him when I lied but what if I told the truth..?

" I feel like I'm back to a mean person again. " I mumbled, on the way to the first story.

At that moment, I also don't think that it will be easy turning a new leaf.

is it possible to be my true self again? be who i truly am, and not act like another kind, quiet girl?

can i be rude? can't i?

" Being rude won't hurt much. Just for one day. I'll be my true self."

I walked outside, still on my uniform, and still unknowingly saw the car I rode on earlier. Taehyung was outside, folding his arms, with a lollipop in his mouth.

I ran to him and looked up to him. The rest of the boys were still in the car, so I waved to them as a sign of greeting them kindly.

" Tae.. Can I ask you a very important question. It has been bothering me for quite a while now.. " I looked down and fidgeted my fingers.

" There is absolutely no problem with telling me one. All 7 of us or just me..?" taehyung smiled.

" Just, you. I mean, I would speak to Jimin since I trust him as much as I do to you, but since you look concerned, I'll just tell you. He doesn't look as concerned so.. "

" Go on. " he said.

" I told everyone here that I was a gangster before, right..? "

" yeah. "

" ..and I wanted to change myself to be a better person. "

"Yup."

" I don't think that will be happening today. Can we get more into being a gangster today? I want to enjoy myself,  as for the last time I'll be one gangster. " I suggested as I looked up to him, expecting a great answer.

" Sure, why not. There is one person, a gang member of another that we're trying to get to. He's hiding. So we are still in a mission to find him and threaten him because he has beaten Jungkook before behind us. " taehyung answered.

" Get in the car. Let's go for some adventures..! But first, what time can you head home? "

" Anytime. "

<Edited, 180612>