Why? (JeanMarco)

I Tried

( Jean's POV )

I woke up on the floor this time, it seems to be everywhere but my bed. I was a mess. There were tears all over my face, I was covered in my own blood and lay next to a bloody knife. I looked like I had been murdered. I went into the bathroom to clean myself up. I got a wet cloth and dabbed it on my scars gently. There were cuts from the top of my wrist to the middle of my arm. Each deeper than the last. It hurt but if I didn't clean them up then people would notice them, even through my jacket. There was way to much blood. I wonder what Eren is thinking, what if he told Mikasa or Armin or LEVI! I dropped the cloth and started to freak out. It's ok Eren would never tell anybody a secret like that. Would he? After I took a long, long shower I dressed into my uniform and tried to wipe off or hide all of the dry blood stains. I left my room, locking the door behind me, and made my way down the hall praying Eren had kept his mouth shut. I reached the hall and nobody had seemed to notice or act strangely around me yet. It had seemed Eren had kept his promise. I stood beside Ymir as Commander Erwin began to speak.
" I'm afraid I have some bad news. The Female Titan has been identified as Annie Leonhardt of the 104th trainee squad! "
Annie! But we were so close!
" We have apprehended her and she is being held deep underground where she can cause no one harm! "
I was stunned. As was everyone else. How could Annie turn out to be so evil!
She was our friend!
Commander Erwin face grew more worrisome as he began to speak again.
" The Colosol Titan and The Armoured Titan have also been identified as Bertholdt Hoover and Reiner Braun! "
What?! All this time we've been searching for something that was right next to us!
I have to talk to them!
After the meeting everybody spread out in different directions whether it be to their rooms or outside I was the only one to head for the basement. I got down there and it was pitch black at first but soon my eyes adapted to the darkness. There was surprisingly no one guarding her. I walked closer to her slowly, I don't know what she's capable of. She spoke making me jump.
" Hello Jean "
She seemed sad when she realised it was me.
I only had one thing to say.
" Why? "
" Jean you should leave! "
" No! Answer my question! "
" Loon Jean! You miss Marco and your heads all messed up I... "
" How do you know about Marco?! You joined the MPs before I told anyone about that! "
" Jean I-I... "
" It was you wasn't it?! You killed him!"
She looked list for words and..... guilty.
" It wasn't my fault Bertholdt and Reiner pressured me into it! "
I wanted to strangle her to death on the spot but instead I just ran away with tears in my eyes. As I got back upstairs Christa ran up to me and handed me my 3DMG gear.
" Jean where were you?! We're all about to leave for the expedition! "
She gave me a lecture about punctuality, then ran back to Ymir.
I threw it on as fast as I could and the crowd started to move. 30 minutes later only half of us remained and I was flying through the air with my gear surrounded by the same people that helped me in the infirmary. I looked down and my eyes widened. The scars had reopened and there was blood dripping from my wrist. Nobody noticed but Eren had been staring at me oddly all day. And I'm sure you know why.
As I gazed down at all the rotting corpses of my comrades I started having brutal flashbacks of Marco. All I could see was his dead body lying limp in front of me. My heart raced faster and I was freaking out. Everyone started panicking as I had a mental breakdown in mid air. They were all trying to get my attention.
" Jean! "
" What's wrong with you?! "
" Jean can you hear us?! "
I screamed at the top of my voice trying to be louder than them and my own thoughts.
" IT WON'T STOP!!! "
As the words poured out I cut the strings on my gear with my sword leaving me plummeting to the ground.
The last thing I heard was Christa screaming for me.
" JEAN!!!!! "
And then....... nothing....