As most people know, I most identify with paganism. For me personally, it's a spiritual belief that allows me the freedom to customize and change and grow, with no limitations, no rules, and no wrong way to do something (To an extent.) You don't have to be a certain stereotype to be a pagan. You don't have to be straight, you don't have to have the best past, I think its amazing.
I know there are a lot of people on my Facebook who tremble at the sight of a pentacle (a pentagram has 6 sides, thats more associated with devil worshipping, although even then, the pentagram also isn't necessarily used for devil worshipping either. I am not sure about the specifics of all of that. A pentacle is a five-sided star with a circle wrapped around it.)
I am going to be clear of one thing. Just because I am a witch, does NOT mean I worship the devil. I don't even really worship a particular god, I believe there are spirits and ghosts, I believe the stars have more influence on my life than most people would realize, I believe that my energy can give me an accurate reading on my tarot cards, and I believe that my crystals can help stabilize me. I also believe in my universe, I believe I will have another life after this, maybe not on this planet, maybe not immediately after the year of my death, and I believe that negative energy brings only harm.
"But Felicity, how does this all tie into the emotional abuse you went through?"
I'm so glad you asked, concerned reader, for today you are going to read a story about how paganism helped me get through everything I have dealt with in the past two years.
My GLORIOUS mother was the one who introduced me to paganism. (Y'all are probably shocked, but honestly that's one of the few good things she has done for me.) It was the end of 2015, right before New Years. Previously, my youth pastor at the youth group I went to had been insulting me in front of all of the other kids at youth group. Him and I had an argument over gay marriage, which I support and he does not, and then he told me on multiple occasions that I was going to hell for trying to kill myself. (Because that's REALLY something you should say to a 16 year-old who is in an abusive household who is TRYING to find a reason to live. Fuck you, Pastor Tom!) My mother had heard from me all of the things he was saying to me. So, a couple days before New Years, (Yes, she was drunk), she pulls me aside.
"Felicity, a new year is upon us. I know that in the past year, you've been having difficulties with Pastor Faulth telling you all this horrible things. As you know, I used to be a tarot reader when I was younger. I want to introduce you to something called paganism, I think you would do better with that than you would with Christianity."
She was actually right. To say she taught me everything I know, however, is incorrect. She told me to do some research until I found something that spoke to me.
"You don't have to make a choice today, Fissy," she would remind me. "Take your time to find something you like. You don't have to rush into anything."
So, that was the day I decided that maybe being a Christian wasn't all that great. Now, let's be clear, while I dislike that religion with a burning passion, I will not bash on it in this chapter, because I know a lot of my friends and family love God and Jesus with all of their heart, and I respect that, as long as my friends and family respect that I am not about that life.
When we first arrived to Olympia, my mom and Natalee took me to my first occult store (Well, not really my first if you count RibbitKaw's in Wolf Point, I love that store, but its not exactly an occult store, it has all sorts of things from sex toys, to children's toys, to makeup, to piercings, bongs, artwork from all over the place, you name it they probably have it.) And my mother and I found these little boxes with everything I needed, it was a "starter kit." While I liked the first box I had, my mother (always out for herself, should have told her no) INSISTED we traded boxes because "she liked mine better."
The thing about paganism is, if you have something you're drawn to, then there's a reason it chose you. But, I traded with her anyways because that box didn't fit everything I picked out.
Another wonderful thing is, there's no scheduled church times. (unless you're in a coven, which while I have a few friends I have introduced paganism to, I wouldn't necessarily call us a coven.) You do what you need to do when it feels right for you. No judgement, good mojo, you live life with the fullest experience and I think its just a beautiful belief. For me, I believe and do what I feel like I want to do, I don't have to follow anyone's rules. I make the rules.
On the times when I felt like I wasn't balanced, I would do spellwork to help myself. I've even done spellwork to help others. (Almost passed out from doing a distance protection spell for my ex, it was a crazy sensation.) I have yet to meet someone of this belief that will tell you that you can't believe something, or that something isn't being done right. And there is soo much to learn.
All of that helped to keep me in a positive, balanced mental state. I was able to relax for just a minute and feel in-tune with the rest of the world, and it's something that I am grateful I have been introduced to.
No, we do not worship the devil.
No, we do not sacrifice living beings of any sort.
No, we do not judge or discriminate in any way, everyone is welcome
No, we do not hate on anyone or anything.
Just because we don't follow the Bible does NOT mean we don't know the difference between right and wrong. I know not to lie to my boyfriend, Jesus did not teach me that, my own set of these wonderful things we have called MORALS shows me the difference between right and wrong.
What you put out into the universe will come back on you times three, whether good or bad. That is the only rule we live by.
I'm glad to have gotten this part out there, and if you're interested in this, or just have questions, don't be afraid to message me. I will do the best I can to help you understand.
Peace out, fishes :)
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My Life Story- the Reality to Emotional Abuse
Saggistica***COMPLETED*** So, I decided that I, Felicity, will write to people the story of what my life was like. I don't think people quite understand how severe emotional abuse is and I want to be able to shed some light on that. Yes, the cover photo is a...
