23. Kill Me, Heal Me, Accept Me

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"Is everything okay Saebby?"
"Yeah.. why?"
"Well... you are crying."
"Oh.. am I ?"
"Tell me baby..."
"I think I don't want to go back home Hoseok"
Hoseok pull over immediately.
"What do you mean baby?"
"It is all chaotic. We were in a safe place in here. But not we are going back to battlefield."
"No no no... Come here baby.." Hoseok stopped the engines opened his arms. in car. I crawled to his lap. Let him baby me. Cried out loud.

"Just say the word and we will find a house in here. Settle here." He said.
"We gotta attend school baby..."
"Baby.... just tell me whatever you want. I will make it happen."
"Just hug me."
He hugged me untill I calm down. I fell asleep on his lap. He drived like that I guess. When he woke me up we were in our garage. He carried my bags. Then we go to his apartment. Ordered pizza. I cooked some french fries too. We ate our late night dinner. Then I lay on his lap and fall asleep like that.
In the middle of the morning I woke up with an urge. My phone vibrated after I woke up.

"Saebby... it is me. I need you... like now. I-I don't know what to do ör who to call... can I visit you? I promise I'll behave. Just...."
"Hyunnie? Are you crying? Baby... calm down. Where are you?"
His hiccups were so painful to hear.
"I'm in my home but it is so cold. Sally... umm.. she left. And you... you left me too!"
"Hyunnie.. please calm down--"
" DON'T TELL ME CALM DOWN! YOU LEFT,YOU..... you said that I can't visit but I know. He was with you. When I can't even hear your voice he was surrounding you!"
"Hyung-"
"Don't even try to lie to me!"
"Wait for a sec." I said and put on Hoseok's huge stripped tshirt. Put on slippers and mutely went to his apartment. I knew his code.
When I entered the house there was a huge mess. He literally break everything and throw everything to opposite side. In the middle of this mess, he was sitting on floor and crying. He was hugging his phone.
I approached him and hugged him. He startlet and looked at me.
"Saebs? How? "
"Come here..."

We hugged

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We hugged. He calmed down. Really.
"So... she left?"
"Yes... I had a breakdown and hurt her for real. And she left."
"It is good for her. She is healing."
"I know but..."
"She was your friend anyways..."
"No... opposite you, she was always here. I just feel left alone now."
"So now I'm being compared with other people and they win over me.... I think I should go before you change your mind. You are getting over me..."
He hold me and pull me to himself again.
"Please... don't ever leave again. Plus what is this tshirt..."
"It belongs to Hoseok."
"Remove it immediately..."
"Hyungwon. .."
"Vertical lines making you look chubby. Remove. Now."
"I can't..."
Before I finish my sentence he removed tshirt. I wasn't wearing a bra because I was sleeping before I came here. Who wears bra for bed?
He looked at me and then grab them like he is seeing them for the first time. Then he kissed them, licked and sucked them.
"I need you Saebs... I don't care the rest. Just ... love me. I'll let you whip me.. if you like. Handcuff me. Bite me. I don't care. Just love me. And fuck me Saebs. I need your care." He was begging. Whispering into my mouth. "Dominate me Mistress. Hyungwon needs you... "

My sweet sub. I sit on his lap and kissed him. He was in full surrender mode. It break my heart. I know how he likes the control. Ha carried me to his bed.

"Hyungwon. Keep calm and... Dominate me."
"W-what?"
"Dominate me."
"S - Saebyeog.... I may hurt you."
"Yes you may. Remember how I was when you hurt me. So control it and dominate me."
He hold my face and beg me again.
"My Saeb.... don't do this to me."
"Master Chae..."
"Saebs.... fuck..."
"Master Chae,please don't hurt me. I just want you to own me."
He pressed himself to me and whine. Swear and sweat.
"Take everything off on us..."
"Yes Master."
"Saebs ... oh I'm so turnt on!"
"Me too... Master looks so glorious."
"Suck it...."
He was kicking the bed,punching the wall and finally he grabbed my hair. Then hold my face and kissed me. Slowly lay me on bed, pull my underwear to side and thrust harsh.
As tears rolling from my cheeks he pull himself out and get out of the bed and despite of he was in full salute mode he started to walk into the room and yell at me.
"No.... No. I'd kill to be with you on this bed but no! I'm so angry with you Saeb!"
"Why Master Chae?" He needs to be it. So he can let this go easily.
He froze for a moment and looked at me. Gulped. His finger remain hung on air. He shook his head and continue.
"You said that you can't be distracted with me. You said you will focus on your studies. You said Hoseok can't come too. But I saw it all! You didn't want me to be with you! Did you ashamed by me? Huh? Stupid Hyungwon. He will wait. He is your dog. Right?"
"Sorry Master Chae."
He reached his hands to cup my head but then he hold his fists inches away my head and slowly hit his head as looking at me. He kneeled and hold sheets and cried. He was staying close but avoiding to touch me. I was sitting on bed. My feet on the ground. He put his forehead to my lap. I could feel his tears.
I slowly put my hand on his head and caressed his head. He looked at me. I wish he didn't. That sorrow in his eyes ....
"Yes, I'm your dog. Yes, I'd wait for you always. But why did you lie to me?"
"You said, you will leave after all mugs broken. If I said yes, we would need to broke the rest. I.... don't want you to leave,yet."

<< Hyungwon's POV >>

I was in full agony but she said that.
She is smelling so good.
Feeling so good.
Sound so good. Specially when she calls me 'Master Chae'.
Sally was right. She loves me too. But my mistakes in the past.
I got on my feet and hold her chin.
"Tell me about your feelings."
"I can't... you will feel worst."
"Then tell me about your feelings in this house. If this house was the whole world. What would be your feelings Saebyeog? "
She bite her lip. She shouldn't have.
"I.... "
I hold her chin and looked down to her. I was dominating her in real meaning. "Say it Saebs!"
"I love you so much Hyungwon. I don't want to say goodbye to you. But deep down I know that I will be with Hoseok. Till the very end. But my feelings towards to you are can't fade away. I don't want you to hurt. But I love to take care of you when you hurt. I love to be your whole world. You make me feel safe."
I put my knee next to her and leaned to kiss her. Passionately. We were just kissing but she was moaning already. I love the way she feels me.
"But baby... you have a life too. You can't live like this."
"Who says?"
"Me. I'm saying so. You have problems Hyungwon. This... this relationship is not healthy. Just leave me. Find a girl who can be with you. All the time."
"I don't want to. I have you. Fuck mugs and counting. Just... just love me Saeb. That is all I need."
"But I can't make you feel happy. Not for real..."
"You are making me happy. When you come and touch my life. My home. My body. My heart and soul. Saebs... do it baby...."
"Hyunnie, Hoseok is waiting..."
"Don't call his name. I know his name and I know all are out it. In this house you belong to me. Only me! You hear me?"
She stopped and looked at me.
"Yes Master Chae."
I love her.
"Yes for what Saebs?"
"In this kingdom I belong to your highness."
"I want you to know that.... this is so pleasuring. ..."
"Yes Master Chae."
"Tell me what do you want."
Her eyes were burning.
"You."
"Who am I"
"Master Chae.." He looked into my eyes and changed his mind.
"Just... call me by my name baby."
"Okay Hyunnie"

I slowly undress her then give my all to her and take all of her. Her moans and shivers fired my high. As we cum we were like animals. Then we were lovers again. We bid 'I love you' .

Then she washed me. Dried my hair. Dressed me. Then left.

My house was empty again.
Then I saw it, she, hang a photo on my wall.
A photo series.
From our first date to today.
We. Have. A. Relationship.
Me. Belong. Her.

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