5. Tears

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I don't get any sleep in the days leading up to Christmas. It's usually my favorite holiday but with my looming engagement only two days away I'm anything but happy. I haven't spoken to Josh since that night he came to my bedroom and I feel awful. He deserves an explanation but I don't have one that would keep him from beating the life out of Charlie.

Charlie seemed pleased by my choice to remove Josh from my service. I counted it as a small win. "Don't you find it odd that I've been here for two weeks and we have yet to kiss?" Charlie asks as we sit in his chambers. Me at the desk and him on his bed.

"I figured we'd leave some things for later" I reply politely.

"Yes but I'd hate for our first kiss to be on Christmas in front of millions of people" he argues. I sigh and stand up, walking over to his bed and grabbing his face. I lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips and pull away but he catches my wrist.

"Where do you think you're going? I control when we stop" he says, throwing me down onto the bed. He climbs on top of me and begins to kiss me again attempting to deepen the kiss. I worry what he'll do if I resist so instead I give in while he pins my hands in one of his above my head. His lips are rough against mine and he certainly doesn't have much skill in the matter. His hands trail over my body, grabbing at the material of my bodice. "Worthless" he snickers as he grabs the material and tears it. I gasp as he stares down at my chest.

"Charlie stop" I beg.

"No" he says, holding my hands tighter above me. "We stop when I want to." His lips move down my neck and to my breasts.

"Please stop" I beg as tears run down my cheeks. He stops and looks up at me in disgust.

"You want to stop?" he asks and I nod. "Fine. Flip over" he instructs. I eye him wearily but do as he asks. Before I know it I feel the leather of his belt snap across my back. I gasp and shriek at the pain. "You say no to me again and it'll be worse" he seethes. "Get out." I fix my dress as best as I can and leave the room. Luckily I make it to my room without anyone seeing. When I walk in Sophie gapes at me.

"Don't tell Josh" I beg. She nods and walks over to me soundlessly. She helps me out of the dress and applies cream to my back that soothes some of the sting. She helps me into a nightdress and tells everyone I'm sick and won't be attending dinner. She doesn't leave my side.

"It was the prince?" she guesses and I nod. "Why won't you tell anyone?"

"Because he said he would blame Josh" I whisper as tears stream down my face. "Josh would be thrown out or even executed for harming me."

"This is ridiculous" she shakes her head. "The people of this country are crazy if they think you are not fit to wear the crown. This country needs fixing" she scoffs. "If girls like you are being abused by a man the world sees more fit to wear a crown than the man she loves who treats her like the queen she is then there is work to be done." I smile at Sophie.

"Thank you" I whisper.

"Do not thank me" she shakes her head. "I am only speaking the truth. And while I am" she sighs. "I think that you should tell Josh."

"What? No! He will insist I break things off damned the consequences."

"Maybe not. He wants to protect you. But right now he thinks there's no chance of redemption in your relationship. He has given up looking for ways to get you out of it. Together you could find a solution" she says seriously.

"No" I insist. "It is too dangerous."

"Then I'm sorry" she says making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Sorry about what?" I ask as a knock sounds at the door. I glare at her as she goes to open it. Josh walks in and turns to Sophie.

"Leave us" he says simply. She does as he asks and glares at me. "Tell me she's lying" he demands. I lower my head, not able to look at him. "Maya I swear" he seethes.

"I can't lose you" I whisper.

"What?" he asks confused as he stares at me. "Why would you lose me? I haven't done anything. This is your way out Maya."

"He plans to pin it on you if I tell" I explain. His face falls as he comes to take a seat next to me. "You will be thrown out or worse" I cry. "I'm not risking your life."

"So what do you propose we do?" he asks as he takes my hand. I watch his eyes linger on the bruises on my wrists.

"I don't know."

"What happened today?" he asks softly. I close my eyes and Josh pulls me closer so my head is on his chest. I begin to sob as I hold onto him.

"We kissed and I pulled away. He got angry and forced himself on me. When I said no-." I choke up and pull away from him.

"What did he do to you?" he asks, his jaw clenching in anger. I climb out of bed and bend over to kiss him. It's soft and when I pull away he just stares at me.

"I'm going to undress and I need you not to lose it" I tell him, staring into his eyes.

"Sweetheart I can control myself" he teases making a smile pull at my lips.

"That's not what I mean" I whisper as I give him another quick kiss. I step back and slide the straps of my nightdress down my shoulders as I turn around so my back is facing him. It hits the floor and I hear Josh's sharp intake of breath.

"You are not marrying him" he says immediately as he stands up and wraps a blanket around me. I turn around once I'm covered. "They will have to kill me if you marry him because the only way you'll be wed is over my dead body" he seethes.

"This is all my fault" I whisper causing his anger to fade as confusion takes over.

"Your fault?"

"My rebelling is what is forcing me to take a husband. I should've just-."

"No" Josh shakes his head, caressing my cheek. "You are perfect sweetheart."

"Stay with me" I beg. "I don't wish to be alone."

"Alright" he gives in easily. I run to the bathroom to redress and when I get back Josh is lying on top of my blankets making me chuckle. I climb under the blankets and his arms wrap around me. He leaves a kiss at the base of my neck. "I love you princess."

"And I love you." 

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