Captain Canary

Chapter 9

When he woke up, Sara was still leaning on his shoulder. Good. She needed sleep.
Even under these circumstances, he still loved the feeling of her leaning against him. He loved that, out of anyone else in her life, she chose to call him for help. He loved that she needed him. But he hated seeing her this way. Sad. Crying. Broken.
After a few minutes, he felt her shift on his shoulder. She was awake. She looked up at him, surprised he had stayed with her the whole night. She had a headache from crying the night before, but it didn't match the pain she felt inside of her. It was like a piece of her was missing. She was so glad Leonnard was there with her. She didn't know what she'd do without him.
"Hey. How're you doing?" Leonnard asked her gently when he saw that she had woken up.
"Fine." Sara answered, although she was far from it.
Now she was back to hiding her emotions. Pretending she was okay. Leonnard knew what she was doing, because he did the same thing himself.
"Okay. That's good." Leonnard pretended to believe her. He knew she was far beyond okay, but he decided to give her some space before they visited Laurel at the cemetery. "If you need anything, you can ask me or my sister."
"Thank you." Sara said quietly.
After Leonnard left the room, Sara reached into her pocket and pulled out an old picture of her and Laurel. She laid down on her bed and stared at it. Remembering her sister made her heart ache. That's why she was here.
Nothing here reminded her of Laurel. Nothing here reminded her of home. Nothing here was familiar. Nothing except him.
He was the most familiar thing to her now. He was always there for her. On missions, talking her out of making rash decisions. The monster inside her created by the Lazarus pool made her reckless. In a sense, he was her humanity. He made her feel more... human.
After about an hour of laying in her bed and crying silently, she heard a knock on her door that startled her out of her thoughts. "Sara?" came the voice of what was so familiar to her.
"Come in." she said quietly, trying hard not to show in her voice the tears she'd cried or the pain she felt in her heart.
He heard the pain in her voice, and it showed itself to him even more when he came in and saw the tear-stained picture of her and who he assumed was her sister held tightly in her hand. He walked over to her and gently pulled the picture out of her hand. He placed it on the table and replaced it with a plate of food in her hand.
"You need to eat something. You're exhausted." he told her gently.
She thanked him and sat up, picking up a slice of orange. She took a bite out of the orange slice, but only because he was still there, making sure she at least ate something. But how could she eat anything more than that with a knot at the pit of her stomach? She couldn't, so she put the empty orange rind back onto the plate with everything else she wasn't going to eat.
After seeing that she at least ate something, Leonnard had to very gently and very carefully remind her that they should probably go soon. She nodded, and he left so she could change. A few minutes later, she came out wearing a plain black dress. She looked beautiful, but sad. He hated seeing her like this. He wanted her to be happy more than anything else in the world. He just didn't know how to help her. The only thing he could do for her right now is to be there for her, and he was doing that already.
She just wanted to get this over with. She didn't want to say goodbye to Laurel. It would be too hard for her. But she knew she had to. For closure.
She was almost relieved she didn't have to go alone. Having him there would be so much better than being alone. She couldn't be alone. Not now.
"Let's go." she said to him quietly after she had changed. He nodded, and they made their way to Starling.
••••••
As she stood outside the cemetery with Leonnard, she took a deep breath and started inside. He walked a little ways behind her, making sure to give her space. She walked a little ways until she found the stone marked with Laurel's name. It had bouquets of flowers set nicely in front of it. The stone read: "Laurel Lance: A Hero."
She traced her fingers gently across the letters engraved on the stone. "Laurel..." she started to say quietly, sitting against the gravestone. "I- I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me. I- I could've... I could've done something. I could've saved you."
She couldn't stop the tears that were running down her face. Leonnard didn't know what to do, or how to help her. He watched her cry, feeling helpless. He usually wasn't good with people at all, but lately, with her, he'd been showing a more human side than he'd had in a long time.
He walked to where she was sitting and gently put a hand on her shoulder. It didn't make her tears lessen, or her heart's ache dull, but it made her feel better to know that he was there with her. That he was there for her.
She sat and cried for a while. After a little bit, Leonnard sat next to her, and she leaned against him. After about an hour, Leonnard helped her up and they went home silently.