Lost Butterfly | Rap Monster - BTS ~Kim Namjoon x Reader ANGST

Chapter 3/4

BGM for Chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij-hcy-2kEc

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  {(Y/N) PoV:}

*Flashback*

Today is the day! Finally. After all these years, after all these years of anxiously waiting, anxiously loving. OMG is the dress good enough? Will he like it? Will he continue to look at me like I have to him for all these years? It's only 7 am and I'm already stressing out... gosh, what will I be like at the wedding reception? How are brides supposed to act? It is my first time after all so making sure everything is perfect for him is the least I could do. " 어떡해?" (What do I do?)

"AHHHHHH I feel so lost, so confused, so......scared. I want this, but does he want the same? 야 나 바본 가봐! (I must be a fool!) Of course, he would love you if he proposed to you and is getting married to you today!" A firm yet cool palm is set against my burning cheeks in hopes of calming my nerves down.

Several minutes of panicking later, eomma walked in already dressed and prepared for the day. Seeing me in my wedding dress, a long white princess dress with embroidered long sleeves; (a/n: the picture above) I saw her eyes becoming glossy with tears.

"Does it look bad?" I ask with a deep frown, causing my lips to make a 'ㅅ' shape. "No, sweetie, of course not you look beautiful! My little baby is growing up so fast it was as if only yesterday I was teaching you how to apply eyeliner and blusher properly"

 "Eomma, that was yesterday" I say causing us both to laugh together. "(Y/N), are you sure you're happy with being with him for the rest of your life? Are you sure he's the right one?"

 "Eomma, I only agreed to his proposal because I know I love him more than anything else in the world. I've loved him for 5 years! He's my everything! He's perfect and I don't want to lose him...ever! I want to spend my entire life with that dork and I'm ready for this" I reply with full confidence in my decision. "Honey, I know you love him a lot but I'm just worried that he doesn't. I just...I just don't want my little girl to be hurt by someone who doesn't return the feelings. I want you to make the right decision because this will change your life forever. I'm telling you this because my marriage with your appa sure did change a lot of things in my life, some were good and some not so much" she sighs after her mini speech as she looks to the window seeming hazed. It was almost as if she didn't want me to marry him.

 "Are you saying that I shouldn't marry him....?" I ask, heartbroken by my mothers words towards the man I've loved for the past half a decade, who, I'm pretty sure loves me back too considering he proposed to me. "I'm not saying you shouldn't marry him, I just think that your marriage is happening a bit too fast. I mean you just graduated from University and just turned 23, (a/n: I know that Rap Monster is still 22 in real life but let's just assume that he's 25 in this ff, thank you~)  don't you think It would be best to give everything some time and decide on this a bit later on?" She has no right to tell me what to do!

 "Eomma I know you're trying to 'look out' for me but I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I've known him for 6 whole years! I know what I want and I won't regret this decision. I want this and your words won't make me change my mind no matter what, I decided this on my own, I know I'm ready!" I shout back, feeling a bit hurt and angry at eomma for doubting Namjoon's love for me and this marriage-to-be.

"I think you should leave...I need to fix my hair and finish my makeup, can you call in Hani-ssi for me please?" I abruptly say to change the subject and to cool off. "...Sure" Eomma looked in grief as she left perhaps from the realisation That Im not as young and naïve as she thought I was or maybe because she was in the wrong. Or so I thought...