Midnight Memories at Hogwarts

Chapter 3

(POV SNAPPING TURTLE(SNAPE)) I hate my job so much. "Potions," the headmaster tells me. "Potions are your calling, Severus". The days drag on and all meld into one indistinguishable blur, accentuated with the moments of pain where I hear Potter speak. The nasally, overly British voice of the Boy Who Lived. It made me want to tear out my hair. I steeled myself and prepared to teach a group of utterly useless, entitled WIZards (A/N SHOUT OUT TO MAI BOI WIZZY). I walked out onto the raised platform where my potion set sat. And then I saw him. Sitting there in the view of all the ladies, flexing his butt muscles, was our newest student. He was a finely sculpted piece of meat with a lump of brown hair on top. We locked eyes, and in those seconds I could feel the burning of at least three bonfires inside me. I made my way over to him. "Oi m8 u must be mr. stiles, u don mind if i just call ye arry do ya?" I asked him while shaking his hand. "Yah can call me anything u want"replied Harry, and I thought for a moment that I heard him mutter something about a sexy dude man. He blushed. Though we didn't speak any more during that class, I later went to instagram to do some research and accidentally clicked like on the selfie he took during my class. I wanted to be his half-blood prince. Weeks passed, and Dumbledore wanted us all to go to Hogsmeade. I naturally was drawn to the pub. Then he showed up. The swagalicious lovemuffin I had been so fixated on was here. And he was drinking jello shots. I bought him some whiskey and arranged a meeting with him to talk about 'potions' and 'other things'. Later I found that the Harries had become enemies. All was going according to plan. Harry showed up at my office at about 5:30. Late, but I didn't mind. I gave him more booze and began to speak with him. "nOW U LOOK ERE M8, YOUR POTIONS GRADES ARE WAY DOWN THE CRAPPA, UR GONNA HAF TO FIX ZAT"{SORRY CAPS LOCK} "But prof snafe, wut wil i do to raze mah grads know, at teh end of the grade perid?" Harry asked. "Oh, ye know waht ye haf te do, laddy." And then we made swet dirty love for the next 15 mins