Shit Happens [REWRITING SOON]

2. Paint, paint and more paint

'Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in summer and I'll be a...happy snowman!'

-Olaf, In Summer

Numéro deux

"Carly Edwards. A year younger than us, in the ninth grade," I said, laying out an evidence folder on my kitchen table.

"Day one of the school year and you're already planning something," replied Elle.

"What can I say; I am Karma," said I.

"Right."

It was the same Monday after a terrible day at school. Elle had arrived at mine after an insistent text and we currently were planning an assault on the fifteen year old, by the name of Carly.

"I have the best idea, Ellie."

"What?"

"I'm envisioning paint ball guns and paint," I whispered in a dramatic voice accentuated with flourishing hand gestures.

"And then... BOOM! She resembles a rainbow!"

"You sure you don't want to join Drama with Roy?"

"Nah, acting's not my thing."

"Could have fooled me," she muttered under her breath, of which I only just managed to catch. That or it could have been, "Can you poodle me?"

I'm guessing the first.

"Whatever."

"It's a good idea. So when do plan on doing this?" Elle asked.

"Tomorrow."

"Can I help?"

"Nup, you'd stuff it up."

"Aw, pwease?" Elle gave me one of her puppy-dog-and-pouting faces that no one, and I mean no one, can resist.

"Fine," I sighed.

"Yay thanks Jayc!" she squealed like a little girl. I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh I'm hungry," she said, having a sudden mood change.

"Well, nice to meet you Hungry, I'm Jaycee," I replied, still trying to glean information from the text in front of me. Elle skipped over to my pantry and had a peek inside. She let out another ear bleeding squeal and grabbed a blue box from the cupboard.

"Mac and Cheese!" she cried. At that my focus shattered.

"Mac and Cheese?"

"Mac and Cheese!" No one in their right mind can resist the delicious, cheesy, processed goodness that is Mac and Cheese - with the exception of my mother who believes it is terribly unhealthy (well duh, that's what makes it tastes good) and should be taken off the market. The mystery was in fact, why this could be located in my pantry because (a) Mom never buys it and (b) she has gone on a crazy health spree.

Sure enough, the stuff before my eyes was not healthy-and-shitty fake Mac and Cheese but yummy-and-deliciously-artificial-and-processed Mac and Cheese. My mouth watered and my stomach rumbled and so from my mouth came, "Elle! Hurry up and fucking cook it!"

"Geez, calm your tits, I'm getting to it!" she replied.

"Well hurry up! I haven't eaten anything today because of Mom's healthy bullshit!"

"Okay, okay, how many packets do you want?"

"Three."

"Three?"

"Three."

"Fatty."

"Uh, excuse me!"

"You're excused."