Diary of a Poet

Entry 1

I'm in the verge of giving up. I'm ready to let go, but it seems like fate makes its way in finding a reason to hold on.

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Funny, isn't it? Diaries are supposed to be started by the infamous "Dear Diary," but because I'm not fond of what's the mainstream nowadays, I prefer it my way. My own poetic ways.

Now, think of it. Life is a very cliché word that is ever invented. You get to live knowing that you'll die. You get to choose knowing that there will always be consequences. Even being free doesn't mean that you'll be able to do every action bound to happen. It got to have a consequence.

Life is not easy. It never was in the first place. There goes the different life quotes like "Life is like a rollercoaster, it has ups and downs.", "Life is a sacred thing ever invented in this world.", "You only live once.", "Once is enough, twice is too much.", "When life gives you orange, make an orange juice.", "Life is a bitch.", and many more. I don't need to elaborate it furthermore because it will just be cringe-worthy.

And what's more interesting is when life is being too nice to you recently, be suspicious. Because there's a saying that indicates "too much happiness will cause you too much sadness." Cliché, right?

But, from all the cliché that I've been writing in this Diary, those didn't even happen to me. I didn't even experience a single cliche. Sucks, right? All I've been experiencing is no ups, but full of downs. Well, maybe just a little ups but the rest are downs.

Too much happiness? Hah! I didn't even feel the peak of being totally happy, but why am I experiencing too much sadness?

Everything goes wrong to me. Everything. Even my mere existence is not formidable in this world.

I am paddling my feet to be able to leave in this wide ocean but it seems like the more I paddle, the more I get pulled down and drown.

Now, it reminds me of the Devil's Snare from the book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. The more you struggle, the more it strangles you to death. But when you remain calm, it will, eventually, let you go.

So, what's the right thing to do? To just remain calm at all times. Easier said than done, especially when you are in a nerve-wracking situation.

Funny, how life still gets in place even when you're lost in a never ending maze that your heart created. Even if you struggle in an endless of times, life still goes on. Don't be conceited, the world doesn't revolve around you.

But, its what's happening to me. I'm becoming the conceited one here. When I'm sad, I don't want to hear any laughters or giggles around me. When I'm angry, I just want silence. When I'm hurt, I don't want anyone around me to be happy.

Then realization strikes me. Ahh! I'm not the only one living in this world. I'm not the only one who's living a life. Not everyone gives a fuck. And so do I.

I almost embrace the word "give up". Almost. Because of all the fucked up things that happened in my life. I'm a masterpiece of a messed up art. But fortunately, in this world full of Buldelaire's orphans, I found this. I found this notebook that screams "Life is a series of unfortunate events." Not literally, ofcourse.

Somehow, it got my attention. And so does I bought it and now, I'm writing on it. Shocking, but yeah. I'm doing it.

I'm fond of writing poems. I love poems. But I never imagined myself to write an entry in this so-called "diary". I love words but I'm not so great in narrating what I feel. I prefer to use metaphors, similes and other figure of speech taught in an English subject. But I tried, right? I tried really hard to make one.

At first, I'm all empty. But eventually, I think I'll get used to it. I wish.

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How's the first entry in her Diary? ^^

I ought to not give her a name, at first, so that it will be a little like mysterious. Anonymous owner. But the name will be dropped in the right time.

And oh! Buldelaire's orphans are from the American Series adaptation from the book "A Series of Unfortunate Events". Try to watch and read it. I definitely recommend it. :))

So, keep reading and please, bear with me.

Thankies! ^^