Alive | Nick Robinson

Desire

A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Monday hits me unkindly. I oversleep and have only a few minutes to get ready. I throw on a black minidress, hoodie and converse. I grab a handful of necklaces to adorn my neck and toss a flower hairclip into a random part of dark wavy hair that can't be bothered to look more presentable. I quickly apply mascara and swish mouthwash around my mouth before leaping out the front door to run the three blocks to school.

My weekend was spent with Fay in my room, doing homework and watching Gossip Girl with slushies and bbq chips. I told her everything that had happened on friday and her reaction was full of wonder and shock.

I couldn't quite understand what had happened myself, he was going to kiss me and I pulled away. It was stupid to think he even wanted to know me at all I bet he was just looking for a hookup. Our back and forth must have only been flirting and not anything more than that but still I couldn't get him out of my thoughts.

Fay links her arm through mine when I reach the front of the high school. She pulls a blue water bottle from her backpack and offers me some. I drink.
"Overslept?"

"Yeah," I nod, handing the water back to her.

"Having a dream maybe about you know who?" She teases.

"Very funny and no," I shake my head. "I don't think he's even going to show up today so I wouldn't hold your breath on anything happening between the two of us."

"Whatever you say."

I glare at her and she spins on her beaten up vans to face me. They make a squeak on the hallway floors. Lockers slam and feet skedaddle to first period, I hadn't even noticed us walking into the school.

"As your only friend," Fay sighs and looks at the floor then back at me. "I'm worried."

"About what, Fay?" I fiddle with the many rings on my fingers.

"You like him, do something about it before you miss your chance."

"Clearly," I sidestep her and join the masses heading to class. She's quick on her toes and lands into a natural step beside me. "I had my chance in the pool and I blew it."

"Not true and if you don't do anything about it I will soon," She chimes. I gasp at her.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll shove you two alone in a room together. Nick is a loner and you're the new girl. And you've already almost made out. Match made in Vermont."

"Fay, I swear if you say anything to Nick-" I'm rudely cut off by the loud chime of the bell. Fay grins at me and I follow her to first period with a nervous pit in my chest.

***
Fay speeds out of the classroom before I can corner her about playing matchmaker. I'm slowly milling down the hallway when a hand yanks my arm into a classroom. I'm pushed gently on the wall and oh, of course it's Nick.

He's wearing a black t- shirt, no leather jacket covering his arms today. He has nice arms.

"What?" I breath heavily in frustration and general breathlessness when it comes to Nick. It's been a minute how did Fay get to him that quick?

"I wanted to apologize for spending so much time with you, wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea," He says, shrugging unapologetically.

I pause because I need a second to gather my thoughts and in that time, I glare at him. "Did Fay talk to you?" He looks fake confused. "Tiny, curvy, strawberry blonde?" He shakes his head.

"No, I don't recall," He rubs a thumb over his bottom lip as his hazel brown eyes dance over me closely.

"Okay, well then, Nickyboy, We spent one night together, a few hours of boring conversation. I would hardly call that spending time with me but thanks for acting like it meant something because we both know that it didn't mean anything," I say, my voice cold.

"That's not what your friend said," He had a hint of teasing in his voice, as if he had so much more power over me for knowing something that I didn't. He loved it.

"So, you did talk to her you little liar. What did she say?" I straighten myself against the wall which just puts me closer to his lips so I pretty much screwed myself over with that tactic of trying to look tough.

Nick opens his mouth to say something but then closes it. He backs away from me and a small chuckle slips from his lips. "That's between us, nosy," Nick flicks my nose with his fingers and I swat his hand away, missing it by inches. "You hate fun," He points out, as if this is stone cold fact.

"Listen, Nicholas, whatever Fay said, whatever almost happened between us, it's pointless. You're condescending and ridiculous and probably a lot of other annoying things that I can't think of right now."

Nick is full on grinning at me, he tousles his hair with one hand and then pauses. He makes one fluid movement and suddenly he's in front of me with both his arms next to my head, hands pushed to the wall and his body almost touching mine.

"Listen," Nick smiles at me but it's more like a smirk. "No more flirting with me. I know it's going to be really difficult for you."

"That's a funny sentence coming from the boy who has me pushed into a wall," I tilt my head up. "You're confusing."

"So are you, Kaia June Mori."

"I'll make them a little less confusing then," I lean up as if I'm about to kiss him, I catch a whiff of winterfresh gum and old spice body wash. I duck under his arm and step backwards.

He looks at me like I'm something he wants but can't have.

"No more flirting with me. I know it's going to be difficult," I raise an eyebrow and turn away.

and then I walk away from him with a billion tiny heartbeats in my body.