Alive | Nick Robinson

Regret

Feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity.

After thrifting for a few hours, a matcha tea and a trip to Target we had everything we needed for tonight to be a success.

Fay does my makeup for me which is bubblegum pink lipstick, false eyelashes and brown liner and pink shadow. I'm wearing a black dress thats tight on the top but puffs out in a tutu. I pair them with my black converse and a pair of fishnet socks.

Fay is wearing a small black top with a denim miniskirt with cowgirl boots and a small straw hat, layered necklaces and thick eyeliner. She looks badass.

We're quiet on our car ride to Gil's Dive Bar. Fay is driving her grandfather's pickup truck from the 70s. We park a couple blocks away from the bar and stroll in the darkness together.

"Are you sure we don't fakes?" I ask Fay while we walk.I fiddle nervously with the spaghetti straps on my dress.

"We're golden, babygirl, I swear," She says, walking with more confidence than I feel.

Once we get closer to Gil's I feel a bit of a sketchy vibe. The bar is surrounded by closed down buildings, for sale signs stuck in the windows. A flickering sign hangs above the bar that has motorcycles in the streets and small groups of people smoking pot or cigarettes creating a smell of leather and weed.

I stand close to Fay as we get to the front door. A bouncer sits in front of stairs which are covered in stains, a broken beer bottle and bumper stickers. The bouncer scans over us and his eyes land on Fay.

"Hi," She chimes, chewing gum. When the hell did she put gum in her mouth? She blows a bubble. "How are you tonight?"

The bouncer has beefy arms and a bald head. His demeanor is expressionless and my heart pounds.

"Fine, thanks sweetheart," He nods his head in the direction of the stairs. "Have fun."

"Thanks!" She gives him a huge smile and grabs my hand. I'm freaking out inside, it's like a goddamn avalanche in my stomach. Fay swings the door open and suddenly we are in a different world.

The air is slightly smokey and chatter is sprinkled throughout the low lit bar. There's pool tables towards the back, older men drunk at the tables or sitting alone at the barstools. An old timey sounding rock song blares from a jukebox.

"Holy shit," I breathe out. The snow in my stomach barrels down a mountain.

"Just act natural, like you belong here," Fay whispers near my ear. I nod, looking around for that leather jacket and mop of brown hair that belongs to Nick. The snow is starting to bury me in panic.

"Uh, you brought the pepper spray, right?" I whisper to her.

"In my purse," She taps her crossbody bag.

Fay and I mill around, gaining a lot more attention than I would like. We head to the bar and Fay orders us cokes. We scan the room as we sip our sodas and then finally, there he is.

I smack Fay on the arm repeatedly until she sees what I see. She follows my gaze to Nick playing pool. He's wearing a faded band tee, baggy jeans and beaded bracelets. His hair falls into his eyes as he leans down to shoot the cue ball.

"That man is fine," Fay whisper shouts to me over the music.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," I tell her. She nods in encouragement and gives me a pat on the butt.