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"The magic of Paris can only last so long."
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I don't know how but we ended up talking at the bar until three in the morning. Time had gone by so quickly, too quickly that I hadn't noticed how late it was getting. We probably wouldn't have noticed had it not been for the bartender who let me know that my group of friends had already left. When I turned around to find that the table was indeed empty, my eyebrows drew together. They just left without letting me know. I was upset, but at the same time, I wasn't. I was alone in a foreign country, but I was alone with him. I would find my way back to the hotel, and if I didn't, was missing the train to Germany such a tragedy? I mean, of course, there was a strong possibility the situation could take a turn for the worse, but what if it didn't? What if this turned out to be the greatest thing that could ever happen to me?
Fantasies of being stuck and lost in Paris were soon shattered when I turned back around to find Lennox standing up. "What are you doing?" I asked with too much panic, too much anxiety.
But he just took out his wallet and smiled, as if he didn't pick up on my worry. Or maybe he he did and chose to ignore it. Which one, I wasn't sure. "Paying. Figured I should probably walk you home. Unless you know the way?"
"I don't want to go home."
He seemed just as surprised by the words as I was. I don't know why I said that, why I sounded so desperate. I had gotten what I wanted – I had spoken to him. We talked about anything and everything until three in the morning. So, why was I so desperate to keep it going? Why didn't I want him to leave?
I looked at him. He looked at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but he seemed to be analyzing, gathering the information and taking it apart. I waited for him to say something, anything, but those faultless green eyes just kept staring at me.
Ashamed, looked away. "I, uh," I started but never finished because I didn't know what to say.
I felt so stupid, then. So stupid and so young and so confused. Lennox must've been completely weirded out. Hell, I was weirded out. I didn't know what was happening or why it was happening or what I would do about it. Blame it on inexperience, I had told myself. After all, that was what the trip was for – to gain experience. To find the answers to questions I had never thought to ask before. Blame it on ignorance and lack of culture and lack of understanding. Blame it on anything but what it really was.
Lennox dropped his gaze and continued his task of paying. In all the guilt and shame, I took out my wallet and asked if he would let me pay, would've even begged him had I not shown my desperation already, but he wouldn't even let me open my wallet. "I get a discount anyway," he said.
