A Master for Razel!

Chapter 7. Therapy.

I stared blankly at the wall. Today is the day I go to therapy. The starting line of a new life. A life I don't deserve but will try to have for Luke. Sighing, I stood up and walked towards the window. I sat down and looked at the cloudy sky. It's going to rain. This is a bad idea. I shouldn't go.

No, I will go. I will talk and I'll tell Luke everything. No matter how ugly and horrible the past is. He has to know. I have to tell him. A knock to my door broke me out of my thoughts.

"Come in." I said still facing the window. Luke slowly walked in. He came and sat next to me on the bay window.

"We leave in an hour. Do you want some food or something?" He asked in a whisper. I shook my head slowly and turned to face him. I took his smaller hand in mine and sighed.

"Luke. Remember when you were five and we went to the park?" I asked with a soft smile on my face. He nodded and smiled at me in return.

"I do. I remember when we went. There was three other people there with kids and you wanted to play with them. I told you only for a little while. I watched you play with the other kids and you were smiling so big and you were happy." I whispered. He looked confused but stayed silent. "I want you to remember those moments with just me and you and the times you felt really happy and just try to remember those after today. I just need you to remember seeing me back then, ok?" He nodded and held my hand tighter.

"I'll remember." I smiled and stood up. I gave his hand one last light squeeze and then let go.

"Remember me as I was." I whispered softly and walked out to the hall. He followed shortly after and we went down to the kitchen. Mike and Damien were there drinking coffee. Luke looked a little upset, like he was about to cry. He covered it up by starting cooking eggs and bacon. "Luke." He shook his head and huffed.

"Why do I have to remember you 'as you were'?" He asked sounding upset. I looked into his eyes but stayed silent. Mike and Damien fell silent and watched us. "What is so bad that, that right before we go to your therapy session you tell me to remember all the good memories of just us two?!" He yells throwing the pan. Tears were falling from his eyes. I stood up and grabbed his hand tightly.

"Because what you hear is going to change EVERYTHING! It's going to change everything." I yelled back. He stilled and quieted down. I sighed. "What you hear through the therapy sessions will change how you see me. It's going to change how you look at me. How you fell about me. It's going to make you question everything. You're going to blame yourself and you're going to hurt and feel betrayed that I didn't tell you. It's going to change everything." I whispered the last part, my voice shaking. I let his hand go and backed away. He looked at me in shock but nodded slowly. "I'm not hungry. I'll be in the living room and I'll wait for you." I added then I left the room. I could hear Luke crying as I left but I didn't turn around. He needed to let it out now, because later it will hurt a lot worse.

Hour an a half later....

We all just sat there. I was nervous to say the least, but I was ready. I'm ready.

"Mr. Razel Stone?" A lady said my name and me and Luke stood up and followed her back through the door. The closer we got to the therapist the harder my heart pounded. Luke squeezed my hand and pulled me along.  "Here we are. Just have a seat anywhere and Mrs. Joan will be right with you." The lady said then left quickly. I sat down and Luke sat next to me. He still held my hand. At this point I didn't know if he held it to help me or himself. After a few seconds of silence the door opened and the therapist came in and sat at her desk. She got a note pad and looked at us.