No Way Out [Book 3]

Chapter 8 - The Most Beautiful Thing

***Bea's POV

"You resent me, don't you?" I ask again, moving to sit up in bed and Harry sits up to face me. "I couldn't save Sebastian and with Janelle, oh God, I feel like a monster just thinking about it."

Both of us are quiet for a few seconds, with the exception of the soft Jazz music playing in the background and my sniffles because I can't hold back my tears any more. As I wipe my cheeks and nose with the cuff of my hoodie, Harry sets our empty breakfast plates on the cart and he scoots closer to me.

He gently takes my hands in his and begs me to look in his eyes. I reluctantly fit my eyes to his, feeling him lace our fingers together and the look on his face is oddly calm.

"Beatrice, not once have I resented you for what happened to Seb or for how Janelle was born with Down Syndrome. I loved Seb with all my heart for those fifteen days, Christ, I still do, and I love Janelle with all my heart. She's our special baby and I wouldn't trade our life for anything. You have to believe me."

"Ugh, I believe you, Harry, I do, but I can't help feeling this way."

"What way?" he kindly asks and I take in a nervous breath.

Should I just tell him? God, this is so difficult. I'm so ashamed.

"Please tell me, Love," he quietly urges and I exhale a breath.

"I feel like it's my fault that I can't give you a perfect child, well, except for Ferris. She's unproblematic."

"Wait, are you saying that Janelle is a problem? I don't think that at all, if that's what you're getting at."

"No, it's just that you're a wonderful father and I'm ashamed because I'm a horrible mother who can't give you perfect children. I feel like I've let you down, and I just wanted to try one more time, to make it up to you."

"Beatrice, look at me," Harry firmly says, cupping my cheeks. "I'm going to say this one time, so listen to me. You are not a horrible mother and you haven't let me down. For some God-awful reason, it was Seb's time to go and Janelle was meant to be extra special. I love our girls, I love you and I love the life we've built together. I honestly couldn't be happier."

"Oh Harry, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Oh my God, I love you so so much and I'm sorry for not telling you about this sooner."

"It's okay. I love you, too. C'mere, Baby," he coos, bringing me in for a hug and I wrap my arms around his back. His embrace is warm and comforting and somehow heals the hurt that I'm feeling. "So, in all honesty, do you really want another baby?"

I exhale deeply, closing my eyes and I realize he was right from before. I do just miss holding a baby and I let my emotions and doubts get the better of me.

Dammit. I hate when he's right.

"Knowing that you're not mad at me or resent me, and if I'm being completely honest, I'm happy with the way our life is right now."

I feel Harry press a kiss on the top of my head and I smile contentedly. It's like the weight that I've been carrying for months has been lifted and I can breathe knowing that my husband doesn't resent me.

And apparently, he doesn't see a reason to.

I'm married to the perfect man. I'm so lucky.

"That's my girl," he coos, smoothing his hands all over my back in a comforting manner. "Now, would you like for me to show you what makes my heart beat every day?"

I hum in answer, nodding my head on his chest and we lean back from our hug. While I wipe the tears from my face and try to fix my hair, Harry rolls over to his nightstand and grabs his phone before laying down like we were before.

"C'mere, Love," he holds out his arm and I smile as I lay down next to him. I rest my leg on his, sighing at the relief in my lower stomach and he breathes out a laugh. "Alright, I think we should start at the beginning...December first, ten years ago, also known as the happiest day of my life."

"Mine too," I grin, tilting my head up and he kisses me.

I rest my head on his chest and smile when I see the picture of us at the altar on his phone. Harry looks dashingly handsome in his tuxedo, complete with the coordinating pink color in his tie and pocket square and I have to admit that I look like a princess in my dress.

"Man, I was so skinny back then."

"You still are," he playfully pats my bum that makes us both giggle. "Oh look at this photo, Love. We look like kids here."

"We were kids, Babe; twenty-two-year-old kids in love," I sigh with a smile, repositioning my head on his chest and he swipes to the next picture. "Oh my God! It looks like my dad is plotting to kill you in this one."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you for fifteen years, Beatrice," he scoffs, zooming in on my dad's eyes that are shooting daggers at my then-brand-new husband. "The only reason that has kept him from having my head served on a platter is because I gave him grandchildren."

"You and your crazy theory," I roll my eyes into a smile. "My dad loves you now."

"Mhm," Harry doubtingly hums, swiping over to the next picture. "Aw, our wedding cake. It was good, but I still say we should've had cupcakes."

"Would ya let it go, Babe?" I playfully groan, reliving that disagreement when we were planning our wedding.

"Hey, I know what I'm talking about," he muses while swiping over a few pictures of the reception. "I could've been a baker."

"Oh please, you've burned pancakes."

"That was one time and if I recall, it was because you were distracting me by telling me all about your sexy picnic dream," he chuckles, swiping to the next picture and I gasp. "Oo, I forgot about this one," he growls and I try to grab the phone from him. "Not so fast, Mrs. Styles," he chides, grabbing onto my wrist and he kisses my hand before bringing it to his chest. "We're into the Honeymoon pics now. You do know that I, ahem, utilize these pictures whenever we can't be together, right?"

"Ugh, yes, I know and for the life of me, I don't know why. Can we please skip them?" I ask, feeling a little embarrassed and the little shit I'm married to swipes it to the next one and it's even more explicit. "Good lord, I don't think I can bend that way anymore."

"Well," he clears his throat and turns his head to look at me, "there's only one way to find out," he suggests with a cheeky smirk. "What do you say, hm?"

"I say in five days."

"What the hell? Oh that's right, because of your period. M'sorry, Baby."

"It's okay, I mean, we can if we place a towel-"

"No, it's alright. I know you don't like to when it's that time. I can wait- wait! We'll be home by then," he groans, dramatically tipping his head back into the bed, "for fuck's sake."

"Well, Mr. Styles, then I say," I pause and move to straddle his hips, earning a glint in his eye, "let's get a towel and make the most of our alone time. Dontcha think?"

Please say yes. Oh dear God, he's growing hard already.

"I'll go brush my teeth and bring back a towel," he pecks my lips and I grin, carefully sliding off of him.

"Hurry back," I purr and the comedian I'm married to jogs over to the bathroom. "What a goofball," I laugh under my breath, laying back down and I cuddle one of the pillows. "Mm, this is so comfortable."

Sighing out a breath, I close my eyes and listen to the smooth Jazz and I feel so relaxed. The aspirin I took earlier have fully kicked in, so my cramps have subsided and I'm wiped out from the two miles that I jogged this morning.

I could just fall asl...***

A/N: Idk if y'all have noticed my last two messages... "Six" and "Five." Hm, I wonder if there will be a Four, Three, Two and One? 🤔😏

Much Love.
❤️❤️❤️❤️